Love hurts, but never fails.

Story time:

So one time there was a girl who thought she knew the meaning of love. She grew up in a home in which love was a prominent affection shown. Her parents loved each other, God, and her. What could be better, right? God loved her as well, therefore of course, at the ripe age of 13 she KNEW what love really was. That one day when she walked into a new Sunday School, well let's just say it was "love at first sight."He was the most attractive guy she had ever seen.
 Brown hair, blue eyes... The epitome of tall, dark and handsome. What could be better? She conveniently got quickly involved in the church, even in the band. Within weeks, this girl was convinced this was the boy she was going to marry. For a year it went on like this, only this time the boy even seemed to be showing similar affections towards the girl. Oh, the conversations that happened at sleepovers then!It even led to going to Winter Formal together, freshmen year of highschool. Life was grand. Everyone believed they were the perfect couple, she just knew they were going to get married. A year later though, things happened when they were least expected to. Now, let me preface this with, this girl wasn't allowed to date until the age of 16, which the boy respected. So November of the year before her birthday rolled around, and she noticed something was a little bit different, but refused to acknowledge it... Little did she know of the heartbreak that was right around the bend. Her sixteenth birthday came and went, as did her lifetime of no boyfriend. Only to find out a month later, he had been talking to another girl and asked her out the following month.


THE END.
Great story, right? Not quite our picture perfect, fairy tale ending that society portrays on a regular basis. What was the last movie that you watched that didn't end happily? I bet you'll have to think long and hard about that one. For goodness sake, I watched "Beauty and the Beast" tonight and was swooning over that, which is semi-pathetic considering it's a cartoon... But hey, can't mess with the classics!


But for those of you who know me, know that this is my story. Now granted, some things may have been a tad bit exaggerated considering this was all in my little 13-16 year old mind. [Which, might I just add, I am extremely grateful I am done with those years of life!]
It's never easy though. Heartbreak never is... Even in something as trivial as a middle school "relationship." Now you all may not think this is as traumatic as some cases... But honestly, it still affects me today. My trust of guys is so low, as is my self-esteem in regards to relationships. Someday, some guy will come along and prove that not all boys are dogs [as Basil told us in Bible Study on Thursday night...] 
And as much as someone may say they are "over them," it doesn't mean that the pain has gone away... Probably to this day, I hold some hurt from that relationship. But the key is forgiveness. If I hadn't been able to forgive this particular person then I don't know where I would stand in bitterness right now. I will clear something up right now, I DO NOT have feelings for this person anymore, at least not in the way that I did. I consider him a friend, which was a hard point to come to, but it is so much better that way.


But as much as love can hurt, it NEVER fails. Because guess what?


GOD IS LOVE.


Woah.
Therefore meaning we can never really know love... Yes, we can in the agape sense of loving someone else here on earth, but this is nothing compared to the love than transcends all things. This love never fails. It surrounds us, wraps us up, comforts us, and embraces us with its warmth. 


Yes, I thought I knew what love was, but now I realize it's all a learning process. Each and every day I am taught a new concept about the word love. I realize how much there is to learn about love. Not saying that you can't feel it at a young age, because I fully believe that people can fall in love, but there is so much more out there just waiting to be gathered up and be taken into use.
Thankfully, since human love fails us, God's love never does. 


I also don't know if any of this even made sense, or flowed... But I just needed to write out some thoughts, and thought this would be the best place to do it.

"Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet
Your love is a mystery, how you gently lift me
When I am surrounded, your love carries me"

[So true about God's love. Rely on this.]

Natural Beauty

Guess what?

Did you know that you really don't need make-up to look beautiful? In fact, as of recently... I've heard from more of my guy friends that they prefer it when girls don't wear pound and pounds of make-up because they are beautiful without it.

And it's really true.

Often times make-up is used to cover up blemishes... Now, don't get me wrong, I totally see where a little bit of cover-up and mascara might be helpful, but they are by no means necessary. We are made in God's image, so how can we be anything less than what He created us to be? God is perfect... If we were made in His image, what does that make us? Well, since we're human we aren't perfect, but God did make us perfectly in His sight. When he looks at us he doesn't see those pimples, scars, chapped lips, and pale skin... No, instead he sees us through the cross, which makes us redeemed, precious, treasures of His.

Make-up isn't wrong by any means. I admit, I am guilty of using it as a cover-up. To try to blend myself into looking like something that isn't necessarily me. But it can get to the point where it is almost addicting and self-relying for our own self-confidence. So many girls today find that they feel ugly without make-up. Personally, I find that a bit ridiculous. Yes, I don't feel like I look my best without make-up on, but I know that I don't look like the world might as well end. Putting too much reliance and trust on things such as make-up can lead to a misperception of who are true selves are.

Make-up is almost like a new facade. Putting it on makes you look beautiful and put together. While, if you don't have it on you can have the appearance of being tired or worn out... But you know what? That's ok! It's life. You're not the only one that actually goes through this thing called life--we all experience it! It's how we choose to handle it that makes all of the difference.

Natural beauty is something that isn't as highly spoken of anymore. Therefore leading to a challenge I'm presenting to myself for the next month... and that is to go completely with a natural look. No Make-Up November. It's a play off of No Shave November (if you feel like doing that, be my guest... personally I find it a tad uhm... interesting for girls to do? But whatever floats your boat!) But this encourages us to evaluate our own self esteem for when we don't have the cover-up of make-up to help us look our "best." True beauty will shine out of our faces, as God's light overflows through our shadow-free eyes.

If you're going for wanting to attract a guy... Try going the natural route. If it's the man you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with, he'll love you no matter what. Who knows, he may think you're absolutely stunning without everything to hide your blemishes [after all, we girl are human too, but we find ways to cover that up :P] A quote I found tonight says this: "A little make up does make your guy happy, but not all of that! Guys like you more when you are without it, because it shows the real self of you" Plus that shouldn't be all we are after for... Yes make-up can be used as a little self esteem booster, but I encourage you to go look in the mirror and repeat to yourself, "I am God's daughter. He made me in His image. I am beautiful." It's true. This is what God says when he looks at us. After all, when he created man in the garden he looked and said, "It was very good." How awesome is that? From the first day, God knew His creation was good. Then again, it's God, how could it not?

You all are beautiful, wonderful, children of God. Embrace it.

"There could never be a more beautiful you to fight the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through. You were made to fill a purpose, that only you can do. So there can never be a more beautiful you."

PS: Watch this video.

Where is the love?

Oh the songs that are associated with the word love...

"L is for the way you look at me.

O is for the only one I see.

V is very, very extraordinary.

E is even more than anything that I adore."

"You are my forever love.

From the bottom of my heart I’ll sing to You

                                              From the depths of who I am I love You

With everything inside I’ll run to You‘

Cause all that I’ve become I owe to You"

"Love is a shelter in a raging storm

                                       Love is peace in the middle of a war

And if we try to leave, 

may God send angels to guard the door

No, love is not a fight 

but it's something worth fighting for."

"Can you feel the love tonight?

                                                      It is where we are.

It's enough of this wide-eyed wonder

That we come got this far!"

"You stay the same through the ages

                                               Your love never changes

There may be pain in the night 

but joy comes in the morning"

"Oh how He loves us so!"

But...

"Where is the love?"

All around our world we use the word love in reference to how we feel about something... Which most of the time is an appropriate use, but when it gets to the point that we're using it flippantly, the meaning is void. 
We use this word, yet it is not evidenced at all. Am I continually showing love to people? Am I a definition of the word love?
You know who IS and always WILL BE love?


God.


God is love. 


So now if we were to ask that question... "Where is the love?" Well its surrounding us every second of the day. God never leaves, and is always present. That can be a scary thought at times, knowing that we can never get away from someone. We're always able to find ways to escape those earthly surroundings, but its gets tricky, no, it's impossible to do that with God. But how often do we/I feel His love? It's a matter of choice. He offers it to us right as we wake up. The very first thing that should be on our minds is the renewing of his unending love. Without it, could we make it through the day? Absolutely not.


I saw this picture on a friends face book page the other day and it actually spurred on a lot of these thoughts...

This is actually now my screen saver on my laptop, but in the corner I added the words "In the beginning, God." Do you realize how much of an act of love this was towards us? I was blown away by it. Genesis 1:1 is the VERY first reference to God's love for us. I mean, he didn't have to do anything in the beginning, but he WAS in the beginning, meaning love was the beginning.

God is so wonderful. Just reflect on that. I mean, it's simply evidenced by that picture. Who else could create a pattern so intricate as that through clouds? CLOUDS ARE WATER VAPOR. [Despite contrary belief that we can fly up in the sky and simply recline on one...]

But seriously... Why would anyone create something like that if he didn't love us? If He wasn't love?

Love is enough. 

Love is essential.

Love is here.

God is love.

Healing Rain

Have you ever noticed that when it rains,

 there is this freshness surrounding you? 
Almost a sense of starting over?


Around here, we get lots of rain. I don't know whether it's because Kentucky just cannot make up it's mind as to whether they want it to be summer or fall... It's kind of crazy if you ask me. 
Also, when I have to walk in the rain to get to class, it can get old really quick. Now, don't get me wrong. I love rain. So many wonderful memories in the rain... But getting wet when completely unnecessary? Well, that isn't my thing.


Surprisingly though, the rain here has provoked numerous thoughts:


1. Rain is a beautiful thing. Afterwards, everything is SO fresh. It is as if the flowers have decided to go on a revolt beforehand, and after the rain, they bloom back into their amazing beauty. The grass turns a warm shade of green. Everything seems new, un-touched, perfect, and lovely.
     "...he is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning, like the brightness after rain that brings grass from the earth." -- 2 Samuel 23:4


2. I've got to throw in a funny, totally girl-thought before I get to the heart of why I'm even writing this... Rain, not going to lie, makes me think of the movie "The Notebook" and that one scene... Well I'm pretty sure most everyone knows what scene that I'm referring too. Cutest scene. Then it makes me think about my own life... And how glad I am for the wisdom that my parents are offered and given me throughout my "dating" years (if I can even call it that...) Because of my parents wonderful wisdom, I haven't made any decisions that I regret. They've nurtured me in a way that I have my head on straight, can make decisions for myself, and can stand up for what I think/feel. You won't find me throwing myself at guys just for the attention... Pursuing is not the girls job. Now I will just sit at my window and watch the rain fall, as I continue to wait and pray for the man God has for me comes along!
     "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." -- Col. 3:20


2. God's promise to us to NEVER flood the earth again. I've been asked recently what my biggest fear is... and my honest answer is: drowning. I don't know if that is because of my past as a swimmer, or what, but that legitimately is my biggest fear. But you know what I realized? If I drown, it'd be because of my own stupidity. God is never providing enough water to cause death for an entire world population ever again. He has promised to keep me safe. The light drops of rain constantly remind me of that. 
      "Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant   between God and all living creatures of every kind on the   earth.” -- Genesis 9:16


3. The song "Healing Rain" by Michael W. Smith has been stuck in my head for days now. The lyrics are as follows:

Healing rain is coming down

 It's coming nearer to this old town

 Rich and poor, weak and strong

 It's bringing mercy, it won't be long

Healing rain is coming down

 It's coming closer to the lost and found

 Tears of joy, and tears of shame

 Are washed forever in Jesus' name

Healing rain, it comes with fire

 So let it fall and take us higher

 Healing rain, I'm not afraid

To be washing in Heaven's rain

Lift your heads, let us return

 To the mercy seat where time began 

And in your eyes, I see the pain 

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

And only You, the Son of man 

Can take a leper and let him stand 

So lift your hands, they can be held

By someone greater, the great I Am

Healing rain, it comes with fire 

So let it fall and take us higher

 Healing rain, I'm not afraid 

To be washed in Heaven's rain

To be washed in Heaven's rain...

Healing rain is falling down

 Healing rain is falling down

 I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid...

Just reading the lyrics give me goose bumps. You know what rain is similar to? Grace. (No, not me...) But God's grace. It comes right when we need it. Always. 

This also goes back to my point of being afraid of drowning... "I'm not afraid to be washed in Heaven's rain." God's power is way higher, bigger, and stronger than anything that we could ever imagine! We shouldn't dread it. He isn't this overpowering God looming down from Heaven with a shaking finger. No, He's this compassionate God that once we realize our weakness, then it is His strength that get's us through. There should be some aspect of a holy and reverent fear for the awesome power and healing of God, but no so much that we don't go before Him on our knees because we are afraid.

4. Last, but certainly not least, rain is a picture of love. God's love. My parent's love. My friend's love. All of it, all of the time, is poured out on me. Unconditionally. Thankfully though, rain isn't as constant as love. But without it (rain or love) life would be so difficult. If I didn't have those people come up beside me as an act of encouragement, or even discipline, I don't know where I would be. I am beyond grateful for all of it!

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for years, and light for the way"

Worship, Friends, Boys...

So I've been meaning to blog for like 3 days now... Literally every time I come into my room I think to myself, "Just get on your computer and BLOG." And then every night I find myself either distracted by other things, or just plain tired.

Therefore leading to this time now, where I am sitting in my cozy green chair, in my decorated dorm room, finally doing this.

Whether this is going to be in an organized and readable fashion, I have yet to determine. If it is not, I apologize right here. So take note of that simple phrase.

First off: Asbury is seriously so great. I can so clearly see God in everything. He also has been teaching me a lot. The main thing though that I think He is trying to make clear to me is this aspect of worship... Now everyone knows that's what you do on Sunday mornings before the pastor gets up and gives a sermon, in which we can zone off, till the ending song when we get revived again.
W.R.O.N.G
Worship can be done anytime... at any place... in any way...
But, all that to say, I've learned more of how awesome it is to worship with other believers.
As most of you know... I play the piano, and I absolutely love it! I, by far, had the 2 greatest piano teachers ever. Mrs. Ellwanger is someone I would consider one of my closest friends and mentors. I told her anything and everything, and we also had some piano in there ;) Becky was so amazing. Despite the fact I only had her for a year, I took away lessons that I might not have learned otherwise! But in spite of all of the years that I had played, I never played FOR anyone. Now what I mean by that is, I never played in a setting where people sang along. I just didn't feel comfortable with that. And to be honest, I'm still not 100% comfortable. But hey, God brings us out of our comfort zones so that we might become more comfortable in Him!
It also doesn't help that if I play FOR people, that means I have to play chords. Chords and I don't have the greatest of relationships. It's pretty much a love-hate thing that we have going on. Why? I really don't have a clue! But this past week, Hunter and I decided that, since we both sing, we need to have a jam session. It started on Monday night when we were just playing around, and after we finished one of the songs, there was applause. That totally encouraged me, especially! I'm very self-conscious when I play the piano. I HATE HATE HATE wrong notes, and I don't like when it sounds super simple (though that often times can be the most moving and inspirational times) and like something that most anyone could play. But some of those insecurities went out the window just by that little bit of encouragement.
Tuesday night, Hunter and I decided again to go out and play the piano. This time, when people heard us, they came over and at first just listened. After about an hour of doing it, they started singing! It was so neat. For about 2 hours, there was at least 7-8 of us just sitting/standing around the piano singing. And I had the opportunity to lead (well... lead-ish) that time! It was one of the most encouraging and life-changing experiences.
One of the lessons that I learned was:
1. It's OK to mess up. People aren't going to judge me just because I hit an E in the left hand instead of a D. Nor will it truly matter, as we were simply just worshipping our perfect God. He doesn't expect us to be perfect. He just expects us to be complete in Him.
2. Playing for a group of people is so encouraging! I've never experienced that satisfaction of feeling like I have truly participated in leading praise to my wonderful God!
3. Surrounding myself with godly friends is the best thing that I can do while here at college, in the still insecure stage of it all. Despite the fact that I knew only one of the people that joined us, we had the common bond that will forever link us.

Now that leads me to talk about the friendships I've created here... To be honest, I was so incredibly nervous about "starting over" again. I had to do it last year, and it was by far one of the hardest times in my life! Senior year turned out to be wonderful, but I think I could say that it had more downs than up. Friends weren't a piece of cake. Also, when I don't know people, I tend to be super shy (If any of my close friends are reading this, they'll probably laugh out loud at that statement! But it's true!). But at the same time, here I wanted to MAKE SURE that I made friends. How awful would it be to go through college and not have any friends? So, I won't lie, I probably tried a little too hard at the beginning to make sure that people liked me. It kills me when I know that someone doesn't like me, or if they like me for someone that I am not. So being genuine was on my top list. Thankfully, it has turned out great :) I have made some of the sweetest friends!
Yes, I still miss and love all of my friends from home (both Indiana and Bristol!). Alot, in fact. I talk to some of them on a semi-regular basis. It's like sharing in the college experience via technology :) But these friends here are some of the people that I will be friends with for a lifetime.

One friend I'd specifically like to mention is Hunter. This girl is one of the reasons I haven't lost it yet... She has been such a great source of encouragement to me thus far! Yes, we met on facebook. Great start to a friendship, right? Normally those don't work out quite as planned. But I really and truly believe that God has this friendship for me right from the time I clicked the "Accept" button. Already, in just 4 weeks of college, we have made memories that will be with us for the rest of our lives!

What's funny though is the main topic that seems to find itself creeping up... Often... :P
If you know me at all, you can almost guess what it is. Boys. Now, not in a creepy way, because then what good would that do me? Haha! But in a way that we're legitimately talking about the rest of our lives. How weird is it to think that I could have met my future husband already? Whether it be here, or in Indiana, or Tennessee... Also, if I think hard enough about it... I could be married in 4.5 years and have a kid in 5.5 years. SCARY! I don't think that I'm ready for that quite yet. I want to experience life still. Not that I couldn't with all of that happening... Yet at the same time, there's that longing.
Something Hunter and I were talking about though is the fact that we have to be SO content in God first before He is going to let anyone else come into my life. God's the perfect man. No one can ever surpass Him. He's written a perfect love story.
Then why do I so yearn for another?
It's a girl thing.
But on a more serious note, I'm perfectly content being single. God is my rock, or at least I'm learning how to depend on Him for all of the strength and support that I need. That's also what all of my girlfriends are for! They constantly uplift and encourage me :)

So now that you know all of that, I'm sure you're wondering to yourself why you even read this.
Hopefully there is a little something you can gleam?
Afterall, these are all things that make college life the way it is!

8a.m is WAY too early.

Some of you may be wondering what in the world I am doing posting at 9:07 in the morning. Good question. I'm asking myself the same thing.

College life means more freedom, right? More nothing-to-do-ness? More relaxation?

Well... yes and no.

But today? No. And the other 3 out of the 5 days of the week that I have to awaken to see the dawning of the morning sun? No.

If you couldn't already guess, I'm so not a morning person. Which, in all reality, is quite ironic. I am studying to be an elementary teacher. So... technically speaking, that means for the rest of my life I have to wake up every morning to go to school. Yippee. Actually, I am quite excited about teaching. It's just the time of day! Seriously? I should not be seeing the clock when it is just turning to say 6:30. Maybe if we flipped the 6 around and made it a 9 I'd be a bit more of a happy camper! But I guess this is another way God is trying to stretch me!

My schedule this semester didn't exactly work out to be ideal. I have four 8a.m classes. 

Bleck.

And on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I have a 9am class following that AND a 10am chapel. So no sleep for Grace! 

But hey, it requires me to use my skill of discernment and NON-procrastination to get everything done at a reasonable hour, so that I am in bed by 11 and getting at least 7 hours of sleep. Though, on a regular basis, my body needs a bit more than that to efficiently function. That's beside the point though!

The worst is... I woke up at 6:45 this morning. Well... ish. Let me clarify this: My alarm went off at 6:45 this morning. By the time I had the will-power to climb off of my bunk it was about... Well, we need not go there. So I take a shower, go through my morning routine, no big deal. Then Hunter and I walk over to our Theory of Wellness class. Which, by the way, is THE farthest building away ever. I get my fair share of exercise just simply walking there :P We walk in our 8:00am class at 8:02. Oops. Great way to start out a class, right? It gets even better. We walk out of the class at 8:22am. This was supposed to be a 50 minute class. So I walked a half a mile just to sit for 20 minutes?? 

Ha. Ok, maybe it wasn't THAT bad. After all, exercise is good!

Anywho. For any of you that are actually reading this, thanks! I'm sure this wasn't the most exciting thing in the world. And those of you that are actually already out in the work world are probably chuckling to yourself saying "She's still only in college... Just wait till she gets to the real world."

That's definitely true. But one of these days, I shall become a morning person. At least, that is my prayer for the year! I haven't slept through any of my classes... Yet. I'm almost one week down. I can do this for 15 more weeks :)

College = Love.

Have you ever experience that feeling where you wonder if you're really where God has you?

If so... just hang on! Because God will definitely make it clear to you :) But I'd like to express how wonderful it is when you know for sure that you are in the place God has for you.

Asbury has seriously been one of the greatest decisions of my life! Already I can clearly see God's hand at work in this decision... Some examples are as follows:

1. As soon as we got on campus, it was like we were flooded with Asburians that were more than willing to help get me moved into Kresge (my dorm for those of you who didn't know!). Literally, 20 seconds after we pulled into the parking lot 2 guys came over and offered to take my stuff up to room 225! Then, next thing I knew 15 Asbury students were unloading my car and taking ALL (now when I say "all", let me just clarify... I had a TON of stuff. For those of you that know me, you can only imagine.) of my stuff up. Such a gift and answer to prayer. The night before my dad contracted food poisoning and was puking his guts out all night and that morning. It made for a rough morning, and unfortunately he was sick the rest of the day. But to have someone simply offer and take over it, that was SO encouraging.

2. My roommate, Sarah, is so incredibly sweet! I've already heard stories of roommates this year at Asbury that do not get along at all... That's so not the case for me! Already we've had wonderful conversations, and she's even a morning person- which means no super early mornings for me! :)

3. TAG groups... This stands for Transition and Guidance. Seriously, this is one of the greatest things that Asbury can and does do! It is a group of approximately 15 freshmen, with 2 sophomores that help us around campus and orientation. Before I got in my group, I had only heard negative things about them... Such as "Oh we got so sick of them..." "The TAG leaders are super boring and don't care..." That hasn't been the case with my group in the least! I love my TAG leaders and TAG people :) The friends that I've made in and through that group will probably be people that I'm friends with for the rest of college! It's so neat to be surrounded by people who are in touch with God and are striving to be like him daily, as well as providing A LOT of good laughs.

4. The faculty is so encouraging. All 4 of my professors today prayed before class started. Yes, I know that I should be used to that... But it seems like that is often pushed to the side with the craziness of class.  You can tell that the professors are fully in tune with Christ and want that relationship to be the key one in the classroom! It's so awesome. I cannot wait to get more involved in my classes.

5. Last, but certainly not least, chapel. As I've told numerous friends already... we do have assigned seats. Why, you may ask? I'm honestly not sure, but I'm excited about it! It gives me, especially, an opportunity to meet people that I wouldn't necessarily seek out on a day-to-day basis. It also is neat to sit up in the balcony and watch all of the other students at Asbury worshipping our God. Chapel today, while yes it wasn't quite as um... interesting, per say, as normal was still so cool! The worship was fantastic. I cannot wait to see how God grows the Unshakable class!

Well those are just a few thoughts from my 5 days here at Asbury :) I am absolutely loving college life. Yes, I do miss my family, but I've talked to them every day so far! This is definitely where God has me. Thank you all for your prayers this far in my journey. God is taking me one step deeper and deeper every day!