Resolutions, Family, and Joy

I know I'm a little late... But late is better than never, right?

It's now halfway through January. I'm 20 and a junior at Asbury. Where has time gone?

The year of 2013 is bound to bring a lot of changes, especially in myself.
My resolutions this year weren't the typical, "Run a mile by the end of the year," or "Have a significant other by New Years of 2014..."
Instead, most, if not all of them, were things that I am going to work on changing, rather than achieving. Now, if you know me well, all of the ways I need to change are probably coming to mind. I completely understand. I'm about as human as you can get. Recently though, God's really been showing me how I need to do this thing called "change."
Instead of figuring out how I can change everyone else around me to fit into my mold, I need to be the one who is changing to be more of Christ to everyone around me.
It hasn't, and probably will continue to, been easy to evaluate all the ways that I "fail."
[Now, I'm not saying that in a negative, I hate everything about my life way... Instead it's way that I need to change in order to become more of a woman after God's own heart."
And I know there are LOTS of areas.
So if you would, please be in prayer. I want it to be an evident change in my life.

But going along those lines, family also tied into my resolutions.
Now let me just paint a picture real quick:
The Perfect Family
This woman and man met at the young age of 10, and knew they were right for each other. They dated all through high school, and got married at the age of 18. By 21, they were parents and entering in this new journey. By the time they were 30, they have 4 children, and a picture perfect family. Their children all got along perfectly, hardly any fighting. As they continue to grow up, they were all best friends and the family was the "ideal family" in the school and church they went to. Their kids would come home from college and it'd be a great family reunion. By the time the parents are 80, the children are all willing to move back "home" to take care of them. It was a perfect life.

I'm not mocking families that have that. I think it's perfectly wonderful.
But THAT isn't the family God has blessed me with.
Just because my family isn't that "picture perfect" doesn't mean that it wasn't perfect for everyone in my family.
Guess what? WE ARE HUMAN. Every single person in my family messes up, and I'll be the first to admit that I've messed up a significant amount of times.
And because of that, no, we aren't all BFF's who want to spend every waking minute together. Believe it or not, we want time apart. We want to be away, so that when we come back together our time is even sweeter because we have realized how important and special family really is.
Plus, if you know my family deeply, you know the struggles we've been through. Trust has been broken, hearts have been broken, and tension has been created. But it's ok. You know what God says about broken families?
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." [Psalm 147:3]
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, or crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." [Revelation 21:4]
"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." [Matthew 18:20]
"But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned-every one- to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." [Isaiah 53:5]

ALL of these are promises that my family clings to.
We aren't perfect.
We are going to disagree.
We are going to need to "get away" to think.
But we love each other unconditionally.
Those that think otherwise of my family, needs to get to know us more. Till the day I die, I will stand up for my family and show them how much I love them.
As I like to say, I may not always like them, but I sure as gravy will ALWAYS love them.
Now all that to say, many of my resolutions have connections to growing my relationships with family. I have realized how special those friendships really are. Being in this new age of life, it's neat to have that friendship relationship with my mom, who I know will be with me and support me no matter what. My sister and I are slowly building up the trust that was lost. It's a process. Nothing is going to happen overnight, but rather, it will take work. Lots on my part. But I'm willing and ready to put the effort in it, as I know it will be worth it.

Through all of that, my goal is to see joy.
Now, I know my mom will be reading this, and probably will jump up and down and say, "FINALLY!" [Yes Mom, I really have been listening all of those times you've talked about joy... :)]

After talking with one of my best friends last night, I really solidified my efforts in trying to be more joyful about all of my circumstances, whether they are who I'm living with, who I'm interacting with, or who I've yet to meet. But God blesses our lives so much more when we see life through His eyes. Ones of forgiveness, openness, gentleness, and kindness. After all Hebrews 3:14 tells us, "We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first." We tend to become complacent and comfortable in our situations, which I have found, leads to apathy, unthankfulness and a lack of joy. Instead of viewing each day as the "same ol', same ol'," my challenge is to view each day as a wonderful gift from God. Full of new choices, interactions, and blessing from God! With this viewpoint, I believe the joy that we will find will come STRAIGHT from God and His blessings that he will choose to bestow on us.

"In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry. You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas... But you brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God."
[Jonah 2:2,3,6b]