Wait Actively.

The phrase, "Wait patiently and it will come to you..." has been thrown around like it's no big deal. As if by sitting around, not doing anything, whatever we would like will just fall from the sky and land in our lap.
Yeah right.

More and more, the realization has come that the more I just do nothing, the more nothing will happen. Sure, there are plenty of things that I would like that will require patience. Unfortunately money and husbands don't grow on trees. But if I just sit around the house all day in my pajamas, eating popcorn and cookies, and watching the latest TV show on Netflix, those things (and many more) STILL won't come around.

In my devotions I've been reading through the books of Isaiah, Zechariah, and John, and I'm seeing things I had NEVER seen before. It's awesome. But for the past two weeks, I have seen a similar theme of waiting. But God doesn't tell us to wait around, pondering when it's going to happen. Because when we do that, we can tend to fall into a rut of thinking that we are being patient, when in reality, we are wondering each and every day when it's going to happen.

It's honestly not the waiting that's the problem... It's the patience IN the waiting that can be the issue.

What does patience really look like?

"Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling."

Zechariah 2:13

"I will refine them like silver and test them like god. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The Lord is our God.'"

Zechariah 13:9

"All that the Father gives me will come to me..."

John 6:37a

"The reason my father loves me is that I lay down my life--only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord."

John 10:17-18

"But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."

John 11:22

"Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts."

Isaiah 26:8

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

I can't say it better (obviously.) When we take the time to actively get in the Word of God, it's amazing the truths that are given. And in those truths, we can find the true meaning and portrayal of patience. For goodness sake, the people of Israel had to wait for a lot of stuff simply because they wouldn't listen, or they didn't want to do what they were told because they thought by waiting things could get better.

I've found it's so much better to get involved doing something rather than sitting around waiting. It doesn't meant that it's easier... Trust me, I have so many friends going out to live on their own, in their careers, getting married, that it makes my life still look insignificant. But I know that in this period of "waiting" for me, I CAN do so much more than I think. I still have opportunities to make a difference in my waiting. But that's only if I actually do something about it. Things aren't just going to be brought to me, because if that's the case, it can bring on laziness and apathy. But the reward comes in knowing that I did everything I could to make the wait productive and worth while because in the end... the wait will finally end.

It's not forever... Thank the Lord!.. It's only a period. But I urge you, as I do myself, don't sit around waiting for the "wait" to end... Be patient by resting in the Lord and still doing what He is urging you to do and putting in your life. Don't be afraid to step out while waiting... You never know the amazing things that might happen during the wait if you do that.

Opportunities

Today I was a full-time mom.
Literally.

I had both girls in the morning, but their aunt came and picked up the youngest to go take her out for the day and then to spend the night! So Anna and I decided we would have some fun of our own, which started out jamming to some Disney music on the way to my house. Following that started the "mom" part of the day...

We made some lunch (complete with mac & cheese, watermelon, plums, and potato chips!) and had a mostly chill afternoon. I found myself making sure she was alright and asking if she needed anything on a regular basis.. It really was fun! We watched a movie and then I had the opportunity to make homemade cookies with her for the FIRST time. Now you have to understand something... I have been making cookies since before I can remember, and always (well, almost) from scratch. But Anna, at 8 years old, has never made homemade cookies! Needless to say, lots of fun was involved as we scraped off the flour to make sure it was just perfectly 1c. and pouring in (a little too much) vanilla! She really enjoyed it and it was so fun for me to experience it all over again through the eyes of someone who had never done it. Sometimes the things we take for granted the most are things that others haven't had the opportunity to experience... And I found so much joy in sharing that wonderful past time of mine!

After that we watched another movie (it was pouring, and I mean literally pouring and dumping rain all afternoon) and then I had another "mom" opportunity of teaching her how to correctly set a table. Talk about stressful... I had to make sure I remember everything my mom and grandma's have ever taught me, but she picked up super quick and before I knew it, she was setting the whole table! Proud mama moment right there. Who would've thought that a simple thing like seeing someone you love and are building into accomplish a huge task like learning to set the table would bring so much joy!

She has also learned (very quickly, might I add) that whenever I'm around at least, she needs to clear her dishes when she is done because it's a big help to me (and whoever might be cooking!) It's so awesome to see how much I've been able to build into her little life in just the week and a half I've nannied her (and Ella!).

AH- but here comes probably the most amazing part of the day... We came upstairs so I could change my clothes to go on the walk and she noticed the books laying by my bed and she decided to organize/look at them! As she was, my Bible fell open and she made the comment, "Oh, I've always wanted a Bible." I responded quickly, "You don't have one of your own?" She doesn't, so giddy inside, I opened my closet door and found a Bible that I had used through elementary and middle school (still in fantastic condition) and got down on my knees and said, "Anna, I want you to have this Bible. It's completely yours. I even have some stuff underlined in here that's really important and things that can help you if you get scared, etc..." The smile on her face is something I will never erase from my memory. So beautiful. So precious. So open! And she started reading it (there are some cute short "lessons" in there that are easy "kid-reading") and she said, "Woah, this is really awesome!" My heart is so happy.

After dinner, we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood, and I couldn't help but imagine that someday I'll be doing something like that with my own daughter. Walking around, holding hands, chasing after the dog (yes... Sparky made a special appearance on this walk-ha!), and just talking about everything under the sun. She is so full of questions- I love it! Then we got back and it was story time before bed... Can I just say that is probably my favorite part about babysitting? I adore story time. Having the kids all cuddled up around you, listening with rapture the story that you are reading... Ah- priceless. Well we cuddled up and read the first couple chapters of a series by Barbara Davoll and then it was time for bed. At first she was a little scared, but after I was rubbing her back for a while I could feel her relax, but then someone would make a sound downstairs and the fear would come back. So she asked me if I ever had bad dreams... Answering her I eased her fears saying that I did sometimes, but then I told her what I did if I had a bad dream, which is pray that God would take my thoughts back to happy thoughts and what she replied is etched in my heart for forever... "I wish I could be like you." Oh sweet girl, you can. I had the neat opportunity to take her hands and tell her that Jesus was watching over her just like he was me, and then I asked if we can pray that Jesus would make her dreams happy and special tonight and she immediately grabbed my hands and said, "YES!" Nothing could have made my heart happier to end my day.

Being a "mom" isn't always easy... Sometimes stressful and overwhelming because you have to look out for someone on a minute-to-minute basis and they truly are completely dependent on you. But as a "mom" so so so many opportunities arrive to be kind, patient, loving, teaching, and molding to shine the light of Jesus to our kids. Today was one of those amazing "mom days..."
And I truly look forward to more of these opportunities.
My heart is filled with joy.

Making a Difference

*I'll preface with sorry that it's kinda long... God's really put it on my heart on how to make a difference and I couldn't help but share it all*

Whether it's physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, inwardly, or outwardly, we have the opportunity to make a difference every single day. And this is something I've been learning thus far this summer.

It's the small things that make the biggest different and all it takes is a little motivation, determination, and prayer.

Physically: I've found that by simply setting my alarm at 5:45am (with a little message that goes something like, "Get off your butt and go running!") that I am way more motivated to run my 3-mile neighborhood, thus making a difference in my physical body. Not that I enjoy it, because surely to heaven I HATE running, but I know that in the long run I'll thank myself for having the motivation and determination to do it faithfully. After all, God tells us, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." [1 Corinthians 6:19-20] Even if it means doing something I truly despise doing, it is because I truly want to honor God with my appearance and the way I take care of my body that I am WILLING to do it. Another verse that has made an impact on my heart as I am on this 'running journey' is Hebrews 11:11- "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." *Side note: I realize that this verse is talking about discipline of a father to son/daughter and how that is the role of my parents in my life, and I am in no way trying to twist the words, just applying them to a different situation.* Running sure isn't pleasant, rather quite painful as my calves burn just with the thought of running up and down the hills in my neighborhood, but I truly know I am becoming a better person because I am making an effort to make it a habit. I want it to make a difference in my life... Because God has made a difference in my life.

Mentally: Every day I have to get up with the reminder that I am dead until I acknowledge Christ's work in my life and that only through Him can I make it through the day. My days are challenging, especially dealing with two little girls who can give me a run for my money. I constantly have to be ready with new activities to do in case of boredom, or a response if one of the girls starts whining. It's exhausting and sometimes overwhelming. (I don't think I'm as ready to be a mom as I would like to be, ha!) But because I begin my day setting my eyes on Christ, I know I can get through it. "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." [1 Peter 1:13] It's making a difference in my day to start out acknowledging the one who is giving me the strength to get through the day... And I want to continue making this difference in my life... Because God has made a difference in my life.

Spiritually: Since January 7, I have journaled and gotten into the Word every single day (save 2; 1 because I was dying [that may or may not be exaggerated...] in Nicaragua so I took some meds that...um... knocked me out; and 2 because I was out until 3 in the morning and ended up doing it first thing in the morning... I digress] and it truly has made such a difference in how I see God working in my life, those around me, and in my heart especially. It's unbelievable the truths God can reveal when I'm willing to set aside those 30 minutes every night to get closer to Him. "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." [Jeremiah 6:16] This verse couldn't be more true of my walk with God. Each day I ask Him to reveal Himself in a bigger way to me, and in the process He is revealing parts of me that need changing, growing, stretching, and maturing, but all the while in a way that is leading me on the path that He has designed for my life. I so long for it to continue to make a difference in my life... Because God has made a difference in my life.

Emotionally: God knows everything. Absolutely, positively everything that I think, say, do, etc... It's almost intimidating. But because I have accepted this fact, I know that my heart can rest in His hands. "'Am I only a God nearby,' declares the Lord, 'and not a God far away? Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?' declares the Lord." [Jeremiah 23:24] Because I cannot hide from Him, I have that ability to rely fully on Him for everything that I am dealing with. I don't have to go through it alone, nor do I have to hold it in. I have found that when I take the time to write out my frustrations, fears, and struggles, God surrounds me with this overwhelming large sense of peace that He has it under control if I would just let Him. I want to continue to make a difference... Because God has made a difference in my life.

As I go throughout the summer, I get the opportunity to work with 2 precious little girls who soak up everything that I tell them. I want to make a difference in their lives so that they might be pointed towards Christ. Already I can see a difference in them, as they ask questions about God and Heaven- what an encouragement, and I'm only a week into nannying! But first I must strive to be completely the woman God wants me to be for them to see the potential they could be and see God through it all!

Wherever you are...might be...are doing...are struggling with... are aiming for... YOU can make a difference... Because God has made a difference in our lives.

"Remember me with favor, O my God." [Nehemiah 13:31b]