Grief through Praise

There is always that one thing that we know of, but words fail to give it justice. Constantly we find ourselves in moments where there is a loss for words. It's those moments though, that give us a chance to take a second glance at that thought.
And through those eyes, I see grief.
No one can explain death, other than it is an inevitable phenomena. How, when, why are all questions that are left unanswered, both by us and by God. But the thing is, God doesn't leave those unanswered to torture us. Quite the opposite. Those questions lead us to Him. We come seeking, begging, crying out on our knees for Him because He truly is the only one with answers. Sure, doctors can tell us the cause of the death and when exactly it occurred, but other than that, we have no answers. We will never know the reason a dear friend committed suicide, or why a mother of three beautiful children passed away from incurable cancer, or why a classmate couldn't be saved in surgery, or why a grandparent is suddenly taken away.

What we can ask though is: what are WE doing in the moment that will matter in 1000 years? 100 years? 1 year? 1 week?
Ultimately God is in control of our life, whether we like it or not. We can no more control our life, than the weatherman can control the weather outside. And it's through that realization that we can praise Him through grief.
I truly don't believe that God takes away those who are precious in our life to harm us. Rather, He has deemed those people with a time frame shorter or longer than whatever ours may be. He is jealous for us, so He wants us in His presence. That much is clear. So why should we want to stay away from that longer than we have to? All those that have gone before us, have the incredible pleasure of being with our Savior for THAT much longer. What a neat thing for them!
But just because they have moved into His presence, doesn't mean we should move further away from it. Instead, we should revel in His open arms and the peace He offers us now. God promises never to give us more than we can handle, and that He is ALWAYS at our side. So every day that passes, we should embrace that, after all, we are one step closer to spending that incredible time of worshipping God at His feet.

"He WILL wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." [Revelation 21:4]

Sometimes it isn't easy. Trust me, I've spent more time crying in the past week than in a long while. But, if anything, it should spur me on to live EACH and EVERY day to it's potential. None of us are promised tomorrow, it's a gift. So if we were to go see God in His glory, what of us would be left behind to be remembered? Would it be a life that was lived completely for God? Will it be a testimony pointing to Christ, so that He might be praised through it all?

Live for today. Love for the moment. Praise for a lifetime.

An Act of Submission: Prayer

Pray [verb]: (1) to make a request in a humble manner; (2) to address God or a god with adoration, confession, supplication, or thanksgiving

Often I wonder how often we take heed of the definition of pray. Sometimes I think we, as Christians, think it's our RIGHT to "pray" and ask God for everything we want/need/etc... 

[Let me preface with, I don't think it's wrong AT ALL to ask God for the desires of our heart... In fact, he asks that we do (Psalm 37:4;  Mark 11:24)]

But when was the last time we (and I'm preaching to myself here...) came to God in a purely humble manner. 

Humble [adjective]: (1) having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience; (2) courteously respectful

In response to God, we should be nothing BUT humble. If we look at ourselves... We are in a fallen world, living a broken life, that is make good only by His perfect life. How or why should we go before Him with an attitude of expectation? Expectation that He will do EXACTLY what WE want, when WE want it, and how WE want it. Where is the humbleness in that? 

And when we pray... Are we as respectful as we should be considering it is the Most High God we are talking to? Or are we coming at it as if he is our friend, across the street, whom we only talk to once in a blue moon?

God didn't HAVE to die for us. He doesn't HAVE to listen to our whiny, selfish prayers.

BUT HE DOES.

And how amazing I've found it.

Despite the fact that I find myself praying for the smallest, silliest, most selfish things, I KNOW He listens. But how often do I really do it, considering what I know?

Muslims pray 5 times a day facing Mecca.

Judiasm requires their followers to pray 3 times a day.

Hindus pray 3 times a day.

HOW OFTEN DO WE PRAY?

God doesn't require a certain amount. It doesn't matter when we pray, or how we pray... But God WANTS us to pray. 

Prayer is our way of recognizing God as our friend, our father, and our God.

It requires a certain amount of humbleness to pour out our heart to someone... and this is what God is asking us to do. Not in a vain attitude, where we can boast to people about "how we prayed..." It's not even so we can tell people "Well this happened because I prayed..." It's simply to be in tune with God. To humble ourselves, to be real, and to become intimate with the one Man who can understand our aches, pains, joys, and laughter more than we can ourself.

So pray. 

Pray with an attitude of humbleness. God doesn't HAVE to listen to us, but He WANTS to and He DOES. 

Pray with respectfulness because it's the God of the universe we are talking with.

Pray with fervor because it's our real heart God wants to hear.

Pray real because God knows it even when we're faking.

Pray.

Hall of Faith

Does MY personal faith have what it takes to make it into the "Hall of Faith?"

This has been the resounding question in my head since I read Hebrews 11 last night.

"Now faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see."
How many times have we heard this verse? There is at least one sermon a year about this chapter. Don't get me wrong, the sermons are always fantastic, but this chapter hit me in a way that it had never hit me before.

Being sure of what we hope for... What better could this be talking about than the hope of living in Heaven with Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior for eternity! BUT... so much more can be taken from that little phrase. Yes, we are SURE of our hope of living with Christ, but what else do we hope for that requires the faith this verse talks about? In retrospect, nothing else compares. We hope for things such as a job, spouse, family, health, etc... But those sure aren't things I want to put my faith in, yet on a regular basis I find myself thinking and being sure of those things rather than lasting things.

Why is that?

Certain of what we do not see... Certainty of Christ in our lives is about as certain as we can get. We can't be certain we got the job that we wanted... We can be certain of what is going to happen in the future. All of those we cannot see, but what we MUST be certain of is Christ. Even though we can't see Him, He CAN see us, and is certainly leading us on His path for our life.

"By faith Abel..."

"By faith Enoch..."

"By faith Noah..."

"By faith Abraham..."

"By faith Isaac..."

"By faith Jacob..."

"By faith Joseph..."

"By faith Moses..."

"By faith the people..."

"By faith the prostitute Rahab..."

By faith Grace...

Can I honestly be described using those three simple words, "By faith Grace..." What would come after that? Has my life been whereas God can say that "By faith, when Grace was called to Bristol, TN she went and obeyed even though it wasn't her plan." or.. "By faith Grace, even though she is single at a Christian college, lived her life for Me because I have the best plan for her."

All things to dwell on, as I look on the lives of so many monumental people in the Christian faith.

Abel... was killed, yet was known as a righteous man.

Enoch... was spared death and was commended as one who pleased God.

Noah... had faith for something he had never witnessed.

Abraham... had an attitude of expectancy.

Isaac... blessed.

Jacob... worshiped.

Joseph... saved the people of Isral.

Moses... regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as GREATER VALUE.

The people... wandered and struggled, yet still followed Christ.

Rahab... was obedient.

Grace.....

"God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect." [vs. 40]

I look forward to seeing the big picture of God's plan... But I am SURE of my hope that He will use me, and CERTAIN His plan is much better than mine ever could be.

Resolutions, Family, and Joy

I know I'm a little late... But late is better than never, right?

It's now halfway through January. I'm 20 and a junior at Asbury. Where has time gone?

The year of 2013 is bound to bring a lot of changes, especially in myself.
My resolutions this year weren't the typical, "Run a mile by the end of the year," or "Have a significant other by New Years of 2014..."
Instead, most, if not all of them, were things that I am going to work on changing, rather than achieving. Now, if you know me well, all of the ways I need to change are probably coming to mind. I completely understand. I'm about as human as you can get. Recently though, God's really been showing me how I need to do this thing called "change."
Instead of figuring out how I can change everyone else around me to fit into my mold, I need to be the one who is changing to be more of Christ to everyone around me.
It hasn't, and probably will continue to, been easy to evaluate all the ways that I "fail."
[Now, I'm not saying that in a negative, I hate everything about my life way... Instead it's way that I need to change in order to become more of a woman after God's own heart."
And I know there are LOTS of areas.
So if you would, please be in prayer. I want it to be an evident change in my life.

But going along those lines, family also tied into my resolutions.
Now let me just paint a picture real quick:
The Perfect Family
This woman and man met at the young age of 10, and knew they were right for each other. They dated all through high school, and got married at the age of 18. By 21, they were parents and entering in this new journey. By the time they were 30, they have 4 children, and a picture perfect family. Their children all got along perfectly, hardly any fighting. As they continue to grow up, they were all best friends and the family was the "ideal family" in the school and church they went to. Their kids would come home from college and it'd be a great family reunion. By the time the parents are 80, the children are all willing to move back "home" to take care of them. It was a perfect life.

I'm not mocking families that have that. I think it's perfectly wonderful.
But THAT isn't the family God has blessed me with.
Just because my family isn't that "picture perfect" doesn't mean that it wasn't perfect for everyone in my family.
Guess what? WE ARE HUMAN. Every single person in my family messes up, and I'll be the first to admit that I've messed up a significant amount of times.
And because of that, no, we aren't all BFF's who want to spend every waking minute together. Believe it or not, we want time apart. We want to be away, so that when we come back together our time is even sweeter because we have realized how important and special family really is.
Plus, if you know my family deeply, you know the struggles we've been through. Trust has been broken, hearts have been broken, and tension has been created. But it's ok. You know what God says about broken families?
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." [Psalm 147:3]
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, or crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." [Revelation 21:4]
"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." [Matthew 18:20]
"But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned-every one- to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." [Isaiah 53:5]

ALL of these are promises that my family clings to.
We aren't perfect.
We are going to disagree.
We are going to need to "get away" to think.
But we love each other unconditionally.
Those that think otherwise of my family, needs to get to know us more. Till the day I die, I will stand up for my family and show them how much I love them.
As I like to say, I may not always like them, but I sure as gravy will ALWAYS love them.
Now all that to say, many of my resolutions have connections to growing my relationships with family. I have realized how special those friendships really are. Being in this new age of life, it's neat to have that friendship relationship with my mom, who I know will be with me and support me no matter what. My sister and I are slowly building up the trust that was lost. It's a process. Nothing is going to happen overnight, but rather, it will take work. Lots on my part. But I'm willing and ready to put the effort in it, as I know it will be worth it.

Through all of that, my goal is to see joy.
Now, I know my mom will be reading this, and probably will jump up and down and say, "FINALLY!" [Yes Mom, I really have been listening all of those times you've talked about joy... :)]

After talking with one of my best friends last night, I really solidified my efforts in trying to be more joyful about all of my circumstances, whether they are who I'm living with, who I'm interacting with, or who I've yet to meet. But God blesses our lives so much more when we see life through His eyes. Ones of forgiveness, openness, gentleness, and kindness. After all Hebrews 3:14 tells us, "We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first." We tend to become complacent and comfortable in our situations, which I have found, leads to apathy, unthankfulness and a lack of joy. Instead of viewing each day as the "same ol', same ol'," my challenge is to view each day as a wonderful gift from God. Full of new choices, interactions, and blessing from God! With this viewpoint, I believe the joy that we will find will come STRAIGHT from God and His blessings that he will choose to bestow on us.

"In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry. You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas... But you brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God."
[Jonah 2:2,3,6b]

The Impossible

Christmas time is here... Just as it occurs every 365 days.
Funny how that works, being so predictable.

It's when we let the unpredictable take over though, that I have found God moves.

As I was journaling tonight, I found myself wallowing in self-pity. More friends of mine have gotten engaged and married over this Christmas break than I know how to deal with. So, putting on the happy face, I wish the obligatory "Congratulations..." and get it over with, while deep down a little more weight is put on my heart because there is no one for me to say "Yes!" to.

While moping around, I decided to open my Bible. It fell open to Proverbs 16.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." vs. 3
"When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him." vs. 7
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." vs. 9
"Better a patient man than a warrior..." vs 31

So as these verses stuck out to me, I realized that I was taking everything into my own hands. I was relying and hoping on myself,  rather than on God, who ultimately is planning my steps. More and more I come to the realization that my own plans are far inferior to what God has for me, but the more I push mine, the less evident God's become in my life. And the more I want to hurry it along, the less it becomes God's perfect plan for my life.

Next I opened my Bible to Matthew 14. Right in the middle of the numerous miracles Jesus performed. The specific miracles in this passage are Jesus feeing the 5000 and Jesus walking on water.

As I read through them, the word "impossible" kept coming to mind. Because if you think about it, both of these things are quite impossible. Today, I don't think we would be able to break apart 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to feed 5000 people. Hardly. And as many people have tried to walk on water, not one has succeeded- at least, with their own two feet.
So why would they be highlighted in Scripture?
I realized... It's because God CAN DO the impossible.
Then I realized... (in light of the fact that tomorrow is Christmas) it was impossible for a virgin girl to become pregnant. Yet, THAT is how our Savior came to earth.

So I get caught up in the fact that I am single over this Christmas break, thinking that it's impossible I will ever find "the one," when things like a virgin bearing a child occurred, and a man walked on water, and 5000 men were fed from 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, and water was turned to wine, and a blind man was healed?!?

What am I thinking?


As this Christmas comes, I'm challenging myself to feast on the impossible that is made possible with Christ. Instead of focusing on the impossible that I can't make possible on my own. Focusing more on all that Christ HAS done, rather than what he hasn't, or what I think He should do. Examples in my life of the impossible made possible through Jesus are the healing of my sister... the friends I made in TN, even though I moved here senior year... comfort and peace to my family after my grandpa passed away... None of these happened because of anything that I would have or did do. Instead, it was through the power of Jesus Christ.
I challenge you who are reading this to do the same.
After all, without Christ doing the impossible, there would be no reason to celebrate this Christmas.



"In a land far away, time stood still long ago... Woman with child and an inn with no room, born in a manger, for telling a tomb- this is how the story goes. But it's more than a fable, and it's more than a fairytale, and it's more than my mind can conceive... I BELIEVE."

Chipping Away

This is me. The real me. The pure, unadulterated Grace Louise Ries. But it's all God really, because without God this testimony and part of me would be non-existant.

Growing up in a Christian home means I've heard the gospel since I was in the womb, and quite possibly before that. I then made the typical Christian girl decision to trust Jesus at 4 years old. Now, I am not making light of that fact, because I have no doubt in my mind that my desire to have Jesus in my heart was completely and utterly genuine on that December day. My faith though, didn't become real and my own until later.

Family has always been viewed as extremely important. We were and are supposed to spend time with them and love them unconditionally. Extended family was also included in this. Now I by no means have a perfect extended family, but they are all wonderful. Those who had the most impact in my growing up years though, were my Mimi and Poppy. Every chance that they got, they were visiting us or vice verse. I treasured those times with everything in me, especially every chance I got to play "Go Fish" with my Poppy. My goal in life was to beat him... Somehow I only vaguely remember that happening once :) Looking back, I see the numerous seeds that both he and Mimi planted in my heart, through the various encouragement to memorize Scripture and the books of the Bible.
On December 14, 2003 that perfect world was shattered.
To this day, I remember everything about that horrific day. My parents came home from the Colts game and called me home from my next door neighbors house. I wasn't too thrilled because we were clearly having the time of our lives. They sat me (and I believe my siblings were there too) down on the edge of their bed, and broke the news to me as sweetly as possible to a 10-year-old. My grandpa had died. Screaming, I ran out of the room convinced my parents were liars and proceeded to lock myself in my room. The rest of the night was filled with people coming and saying what they though and more than likely were encouraging words, but I didn't want to hear one bit of it. From that day, I made up my mind that no good God could or would take away my Poppy.
It was on that day that I began my stage of unbelief and "faking" the Christian walk. I became pretty darn good at it too. I knew all of the right answers, and could say all of the right things to make it appear as if I was the perfect little Christian girl. And I kept this up until the summer before my 8th grade year. My family went up to Schroon Lake, NY and my parents decided that I should go to the Word of Life Island for a week of camp with my cousin, Alyssa. I was by no means thrilled because that means getting out of my comfort zone and hearing a full week about God. Little did I know how God would break down those walls that I had built up that week. It's so clear how God orchestrated that week in my life, and how on August 1, 2007 my walk with Christ became so real and I became fully His.
Unfortunately another curve ball was about to be thrown my way.
My sister was killing herself. Literally starving to death. And instead of walking down the road of unbelief this time, I began down the road of anger, bitterness, and resentment towards God, but especially towards my sister. How could she do something like this? Was it all for the attention? Well she sure got it, and I didn't. Since I wasn't the one struggling outwardly, everyone assumed I was just fine. Little did they know the insecurities and doubts that that overlooking created in my heart, and it led to something that I still am working through today.
Throughout my whole story, a common theme is pretending; I've got it down pat. God is slowly chipping that away as he has brought more and more incredibly godly people in my life. But I won't lie, I still depend and thrive on what other people think because I went probably about 5 years without receiving affirmations or compliments of value.
My sister is officially 2 years in remission, but that is where God is still working in our relationship! So much love and trust was broken, that our relationship is not like other "best friend sisters," but we are slowly getting there. I, especially, am realizing how cool my sister actually is and that I am the example that she looks up to, which is one big responsibility!

Through this all, God has made it clear that He is refining me. He made me perfect, and my human nature built up a rock wall around that perfection and He is slowly chipping away that rock wall. I'm still able to patch up any of those cracks He makes with my pretending, but slowly God is taking that away and stripping me bare.

Proverbs 3:5-6-- "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." -- I can't control everything in my life, as evidenced by the fact my grandpa died. But I am beginning to see where God's path is leading me through that trial.

Galatians 1:10-- "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."--Every time I read this it continues to speak truth to me. I don't need to impress everyone, not do I need to be noticed or complimented every day. Yes, it's nice, but God sees the real me and is making me in to the beautiful woman He desires me to become, rather than me trying to be a beautiful woman by the world's standards.

Each day is a new chip that God is making in my stone wall, but I am beginning to understand and see how beautiful of a woman God desires me to become and how the trials shape and mold me to His perfect form.

THIS is my story through God's grace and unending love and mercy.

THIS is the pure unadulterated Grace Louise Ries.

THIS is me.

Differences and Dreams

It's been so crazy how many things God has been putting on my heart and mind since I've been at Asbury... And whats cool- Most of it has been because I've been more willing to listen than I ever have been in my life. I've set apart"quiet times" in order to hear God speak in and through my life. Each day that I do it, I realize more and more how cool God is and how insignificant I am in His presence. The realization that I can do NOTHING on my own has also come up numerous times. I can so clearly see how God works when I let Him take control. It's just amazing :)

Recently though, thoughts of the future are invading my life. I wonder why...... ;)

In all seriousness though, it's coming close. And faster than I think that I'd like, yet at the same time, not  quite fast enough. I'm still a Daddy's girl, who loves to hang out with my dad every chance that I can get. I love having all of my girlfriends, who we can be SUPER crazy together and not worry about what anyone else is thinking. Yet at the same time... I'm so incredibly independent. Not really needing that constant backing up anymore (even though I still like it!)... I'm ready to teach and travel across the world and get married and become a mommy. How do all of those fit together??

 I think that's there the differences in my life fit in... I'm looking for so many different things, and as of right now, they don't exactly fit together. They still continue to be my dreams though.

Notice, I said, "I'm looking..." This phrase has really stuck out to me recently.  And most of you are probably saying, "Uhh...... Why?" Well over the past few weeks I've really thought about what the word looking means. According to Webster's Dictionary it means to "direct one's gaze toward someone or something or in a specified direction." Meaning that you are solely focused on one thing. As I've been growing in my walk with Christ, I've realized that I'll always be looking for something, but how I do it is important. Looking implies that we can get swept away with the idea of something; having a blind spot that can create problems because of the tunnel-vision focus. This is where I was convicted... I'm so focused on looking for all of these that I'm not looking at anything else, if that makes sense.

A more specific example that has come to mind is in relation to my future husband. I've been really convicted that I am constantly looking. While all the while God is saying, "Sit back, know that I am God [NOT YOU] and I have a perfect plan for that." At the same time, I shouldn't be idly sitting around waiting for a man to drop on one knee and propose. I have so much that I can do with my life before that guys comes into my life. And much of these realizations have come with the fact that I am really incredibly content being single. It'd have to take one crazy guy to want to be in my life right now. I have so many plans and dreams that I'm looking forward to putting into practice, and right now, a guy doesn't fit into that role. Now... I'm by no means saying that I don't want to get married. Geeze, I want to be a mom probably almost as much as I want to be a teacher! But right now, that's not what God has. Not a relationship, not an engagement, not a wedding. Just a life where God is the man (along with my daddy of course!)

Looking can be a good thing... Obviously. If I wasn't looking into the future, then there would be problems as I try to figure out my education at Asbury University. I just can't let myself get so caught up in the looking, that I am tunnel focused and fail to notice those unplanned things around me.

Right now looking for me means towards my future career... So many doors have been opened and so many new dreams have come to mind! Each passing day, there is a little bit more of a void for Nicaragua. And I am so eagerly anticipating going there in just 6 months!! There also is an opportunity for me to do my student teaching in Africa-- a place where I have always had a desire to go! It's one little thing at a time that keeps popping up in my life, and it's so clearly God. I wouldn't have a heart for missions, or the people of Nicaragua, or the children of Africa if it weren't for the love of God in me.

I'm LOOKING forward to seeing how God shapes all of my dreams and my "looking vision" ahead in the future. They might all be completely different things that add up into some crazy dreams, but sometimes that's when God does the coolest things!

"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply" — Hudson Taylor 

"God isn't looking for people of great faith, but for individuals ready to follow Him" — Hudson Taylor