The Impossible

Christmas time is here... Just as it occurs every 365 days.
Funny how that works, being so predictable.

It's when we let the unpredictable take over though, that I have found God moves.

As I was journaling tonight, I found myself wallowing in self-pity. More friends of mine have gotten engaged and married over this Christmas break than I know how to deal with. So, putting on the happy face, I wish the obligatory "Congratulations..." and get it over with, while deep down a little more weight is put on my heart because there is no one for me to say "Yes!" to.

While moping around, I decided to open my Bible. It fell open to Proverbs 16.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." vs. 3
"When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him." vs. 7
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." vs. 9
"Better a patient man than a warrior..." vs 31

So as these verses stuck out to me, I realized that I was taking everything into my own hands. I was relying and hoping on myself,  rather than on God, who ultimately is planning my steps. More and more I come to the realization that my own plans are far inferior to what God has for me, but the more I push mine, the less evident God's become in my life. And the more I want to hurry it along, the less it becomes God's perfect plan for my life.

Next I opened my Bible to Matthew 14. Right in the middle of the numerous miracles Jesus performed. The specific miracles in this passage are Jesus feeing the 5000 and Jesus walking on water.

As I read through them, the word "impossible" kept coming to mind. Because if you think about it, both of these things are quite impossible. Today, I don't think we would be able to break apart 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to feed 5000 people. Hardly. And as many people have tried to walk on water, not one has succeeded- at least, with their own two feet.
So why would they be highlighted in Scripture?
I realized... It's because God CAN DO the impossible.
Then I realized... (in light of the fact that tomorrow is Christmas) it was impossible for a virgin girl to become pregnant. Yet, THAT is how our Savior came to earth.

So I get caught up in the fact that I am single over this Christmas break, thinking that it's impossible I will ever find "the one," when things like a virgin bearing a child occurred, and a man walked on water, and 5000 men were fed from 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, and water was turned to wine, and a blind man was healed?!?

What am I thinking?


As this Christmas comes, I'm challenging myself to feast on the impossible that is made possible with Christ. Instead of focusing on the impossible that I can't make possible on my own. Focusing more on all that Christ HAS done, rather than what he hasn't, or what I think He should do. Examples in my life of the impossible made possible through Jesus are the healing of my sister... the friends I made in TN, even though I moved here senior year... comfort and peace to my family after my grandpa passed away... None of these happened because of anything that I would have or did do. Instead, it was through the power of Jesus Christ.
I challenge you who are reading this to do the same.
After all, without Christ doing the impossible, there would be no reason to celebrate this Christmas.



"In a land far away, time stood still long ago... Woman with child and an inn with no room, born in a manger, for telling a tomb- this is how the story goes. But it's more than a fable, and it's more than a fairytale, and it's more than my mind can conceive... I BELIEVE."

Chipping Away

This is me. The real me. The pure, unadulterated Grace Louise Ries. But it's all God really, because without God this testimony and part of me would be non-existant.

Growing up in a Christian home means I've heard the gospel since I was in the womb, and quite possibly before that. I then made the typical Christian girl decision to trust Jesus at 4 years old. Now, I am not making light of that fact, because I have no doubt in my mind that my desire to have Jesus in my heart was completely and utterly genuine on that December day. My faith though, didn't become real and my own until later.

Family has always been viewed as extremely important. We were and are supposed to spend time with them and love them unconditionally. Extended family was also included in this. Now I by no means have a perfect extended family, but they are all wonderful. Those who had the most impact in my growing up years though, were my Mimi and Poppy. Every chance that they got, they were visiting us or vice verse. I treasured those times with everything in me, especially every chance I got to play "Go Fish" with my Poppy. My goal in life was to beat him... Somehow I only vaguely remember that happening once :) Looking back, I see the numerous seeds that both he and Mimi planted in my heart, through the various encouragement to memorize Scripture and the books of the Bible.
On December 14, 2003 that perfect world was shattered.
To this day, I remember everything about that horrific day. My parents came home from the Colts game and called me home from my next door neighbors house. I wasn't too thrilled because we were clearly having the time of our lives. They sat me (and I believe my siblings were there too) down on the edge of their bed, and broke the news to me as sweetly as possible to a 10-year-old. My grandpa had died. Screaming, I ran out of the room convinced my parents were liars and proceeded to lock myself in my room. The rest of the night was filled with people coming and saying what they though and more than likely were encouraging words, but I didn't want to hear one bit of it. From that day, I made up my mind that no good God could or would take away my Poppy.
It was on that day that I began my stage of unbelief and "faking" the Christian walk. I became pretty darn good at it too. I knew all of the right answers, and could say all of the right things to make it appear as if I was the perfect little Christian girl. And I kept this up until the summer before my 8th grade year. My family went up to Schroon Lake, NY and my parents decided that I should go to the Word of Life Island for a week of camp with my cousin, Alyssa. I was by no means thrilled because that means getting out of my comfort zone and hearing a full week about God. Little did I know how God would break down those walls that I had built up that week. It's so clear how God orchestrated that week in my life, and how on August 1, 2007 my walk with Christ became so real and I became fully His.
Unfortunately another curve ball was about to be thrown my way.
My sister was killing herself. Literally starving to death. And instead of walking down the road of unbelief this time, I began down the road of anger, bitterness, and resentment towards God, but especially towards my sister. How could she do something like this? Was it all for the attention? Well she sure got it, and I didn't. Since I wasn't the one struggling outwardly, everyone assumed I was just fine. Little did they know the insecurities and doubts that that overlooking created in my heart, and it led to something that I still am working through today.
Throughout my whole story, a common theme is pretending; I've got it down pat. God is slowly chipping that away as he has brought more and more incredibly godly people in my life. But I won't lie, I still depend and thrive on what other people think because I went probably about 5 years without receiving affirmations or compliments of value.
My sister is officially 2 years in remission, but that is where God is still working in our relationship! So much love and trust was broken, that our relationship is not like other "best friend sisters," but we are slowly getting there. I, especially, am realizing how cool my sister actually is and that I am the example that she looks up to, which is one big responsibility!

Through this all, God has made it clear that He is refining me. He made me perfect, and my human nature built up a rock wall around that perfection and He is slowly chipping away that rock wall. I'm still able to patch up any of those cracks He makes with my pretending, but slowly God is taking that away and stripping me bare.

Proverbs 3:5-6-- "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." -- I can't control everything in my life, as evidenced by the fact my grandpa died. But I am beginning to see where God's path is leading me through that trial.

Galatians 1:10-- "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."--Every time I read this it continues to speak truth to me. I don't need to impress everyone, not do I need to be noticed or complimented every day. Yes, it's nice, but God sees the real me and is making me in to the beautiful woman He desires me to become, rather than me trying to be a beautiful woman by the world's standards.

Each day is a new chip that God is making in my stone wall, but I am beginning to understand and see how beautiful of a woman God desires me to become and how the trials shape and mold me to His perfect form.

THIS is my story through God's grace and unending love and mercy.

THIS is the pure unadulterated Grace Louise Ries.

THIS is me.

Differences and Dreams

It's been so crazy how many things God has been putting on my heart and mind since I've been at Asbury... And whats cool- Most of it has been because I've been more willing to listen than I ever have been in my life. I've set apart"quiet times" in order to hear God speak in and through my life. Each day that I do it, I realize more and more how cool God is and how insignificant I am in His presence. The realization that I can do NOTHING on my own has also come up numerous times. I can so clearly see how God works when I let Him take control. It's just amazing :)

Recently though, thoughts of the future are invading my life. I wonder why...... ;)

In all seriousness though, it's coming close. And faster than I think that I'd like, yet at the same time, not  quite fast enough. I'm still a Daddy's girl, who loves to hang out with my dad every chance that I can get. I love having all of my girlfriends, who we can be SUPER crazy together and not worry about what anyone else is thinking. Yet at the same time... I'm so incredibly independent. Not really needing that constant backing up anymore (even though I still like it!)... I'm ready to teach and travel across the world and get married and become a mommy. How do all of those fit together??

 I think that's there the differences in my life fit in... I'm looking for so many different things, and as of right now, they don't exactly fit together. They still continue to be my dreams though.

Notice, I said, "I'm looking..." This phrase has really stuck out to me recently.  And most of you are probably saying, "Uhh...... Why?" Well over the past few weeks I've really thought about what the word looking means. According to Webster's Dictionary it means to "direct one's gaze toward someone or something or in a specified direction." Meaning that you are solely focused on one thing. As I've been growing in my walk with Christ, I've realized that I'll always be looking for something, but how I do it is important. Looking implies that we can get swept away with the idea of something; having a blind spot that can create problems because of the tunnel-vision focus. This is where I was convicted... I'm so focused on looking for all of these that I'm not looking at anything else, if that makes sense.

A more specific example that has come to mind is in relation to my future husband. I've been really convicted that I am constantly looking. While all the while God is saying, "Sit back, know that I am God [NOT YOU] and I have a perfect plan for that." At the same time, I shouldn't be idly sitting around waiting for a man to drop on one knee and propose. I have so much that I can do with my life before that guys comes into my life. And much of these realizations have come with the fact that I am really incredibly content being single. It'd have to take one crazy guy to want to be in my life right now. I have so many plans and dreams that I'm looking forward to putting into practice, and right now, a guy doesn't fit into that role. Now... I'm by no means saying that I don't want to get married. Geeze, I want to be a mom probably almost as much as I want to be a teacher! But right now, that's not what God has. Not a relationship, not an engagement, not a wedding. Just a life where God is the man (along with my daddy of course!)

Looking can be a good thing... Obviously. If I wasn't looking into the future, then there would be problems as I try to figure out my education at Asbury University. I just can't let myself get so caught up in the looking, that I am tunnel focused and fail to notice those unplanned things around me.

Right now looking for me means towards my future career... So many doors have been opened and so many new dreams have come to mind! Each passing day, there is a little bit more of a void for Nicaragua. And I am so eagerly anticipating going there in just 6 months!! There also is an opportunity for me to do my student teaching in Africa-- a place where I have always had a desire to go! It's one little thing at a time that keeps popping up in my life, and it's so clearly God. I wouldn't have a heart for missions, or the people of Nicaragua, or the children of Africa if it weren't for the love of God in me.

I'm LOOKING forward to seeing how God shapes all of my dreams and my "looking vision" ahead in the future. They might all be completely different things that add up into some crazy dreams, but sometimes that's when God does the coolest things!

"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply" — Hudson Taylor 

"God isn't looking for people of great faith, but for individuals ready to follow Him" — Hudson Taylor

SLA

God's worked in me a lot already this semester...

This year I have the joy and opportunity to serve as an SLA (Spiritual Life Advisor) here at Asbury. My hall is the absolute best, and don't even try to combat it. It's fact. The RA of my hall, Julia, is fantastic and we have already gathered such a sense of community- it's wonderful!

For most that know me though, you are probably thinking, what is she doing in this role??
Yes, I know.... I'm an Elementary Education major... Not super outgoing (well, maybe?)... Reserved... Quiet...
I suppose God just has a wonderful sense of humor!
Last year my SLA took me out to lunch and asked me if I would consider/pray about becoming an SLA. My immediate thought was, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??" But slowly, God kept using other people to inspire me to really ponder doing it. Going out on a limb, I decided to apply. There were a few complications because I wanted to move over to the other girls dorm (which, by the way, is a million times better!), but God had His overarching plan through it all and I became the SLA of 3rd Glide, commonly known as, 3rd H3RD.

Over the summer many doubts came to my mind...

How would I connect with the girls on my hall?

I'm only a sophomore, so of course the upper classmen won't want anything to do with me.

I'm no where near as spiritual as some people that I know.

HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS JOB?

This question was never fully answered, except for God continually reminding me that He is with me always and has my right hand, guiding me along.

Since being an SLA means a position of leadership on campus, I arrived back at Asbury a week before all of the other students. We had a time of getting to know one another and growing as SLA's. Which brought me to another worry because I knew NO ONE. None of my close friends are SLA's... I was coming in cold turkey, and I hated it. It was such good practice though to put myself out there and get to know people that I would not have originally known. Already I have made some wonderful friends, and it's such an encouragement to walk around campus and be able to say hi to people! It also gave me such a boost of confidence in that I know that I am capable of making new friends, so hopefully things on the hall would be easier!

Throughout this week of training there was so much time where we would be in harmony with God. Seeking His direction... Asking for His wisdom in our lives. It was incredible to be surrounded by 40 some people who were so earnestly seeking after Christ! God so clearly spoke to all of us. It was incredible.

I STILL know that there is no way I am worthy of this position. It is all God.

Colossians 2:2-3- "My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all treasures of wisdom and knowledge."
This is my prayer for me as an SLA. I am praying that God will help me to be a godly example, full of uplifting and encouraging comments. Putting aside myself, so that they may see Christ and NOT ME. I want to lay aside my worries and doubts and distractions.

Colossians 2:6-7- "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."
This is the hall verse that I have picked out for H3RD. I am praying that God gives me the strength to stay rooted in him and not let anything hinder my relationship with Him.

ALL of this comes down to the fact that I need Christ. There is no way on God's green earth that I would be able to do this job without Him. I mean, seriously... Leading 33 girls to follow and pursue Christ more than they did when they got here... That's one crazy job. But I KNOW that God is my source of strength, and with Him I can do ALL things.

The sense of community on the hall is slowly growing, as we become more comfortable with one another! Friendships are being made... Crazy things are occurring... God is going to continue to work in all of our lives to make this hall one fully following after Him- so much so that all of the other halls will be jealous ;)

Pray that God's light will shine through me to the girls on the hall. Pray that I will remember that I cannot do this on my own strength. Pray that Christ will be so evident on the whole campus of Asbury!

After all... It's nothing of my own accord that I am an SLA. It's ALL Christ!

These are just a few of the people that I had the privilege of getting to know over the weekend retreat the SLA's went on!

Contentedness

"Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you'll always be looking to mere men to meet needs that only He can fill. Only when you make Jesus Christ your first love, will you be ready for a love story that reflects His glory."

This quote is currently hanging on my wall in my dorm room, in plain sight, to be read at all times, as a constant reminder to me.

Why? Partially because I love the message that it is portraying. Mainly because I am back at Asbury.

I am utterly convinced that there are 20 times more couples on campus this semester than all of last year combined. Is that even possible?

This day in age it's really tough living "single." We are constantly so surrounded by the media that is portraying the fact that we need to have that "significant other to love, cherish, hold..." blah, blah, blah. We are thrown with the idea that if that is not present in our lives, something is wrong, either with us or with the relationship.

As I've really come to learn, it's in singleness that God can be the most significant other in our life.

Psalm 17:15b says, "I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness."
Humans are no where near perfect. Our image will always be tattered with different self-perceptions that we tend to carry around on our sleeve. This is whether we are in a relationship, or not. But what hit me is the question, "Am I satisfied with having other people seeing Christ by me?" Instead of having a boyfriend walking beside me, am I willing and constantly showing that instead, Christ is walking beside me and I should be exuding that joy.

You know those couples that seriously cannot wipe the smile from their face? That's how I should be about walking with Christ. Am I content in that?

Colossians 3:4a- "When Christ, who is your life..."
My prayer has been that Christ really will be my life. That He will be the one that I am living for. That my life does continue to go on with or without a significant other. That I am content in living to please and honor Christ, NO one else.

Proverbs 21:2- "All a man's ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs on his heart."
I have that desire to be content. I also have that desire to find the man that I am going to marry. The difference is, I know that God's will for me right now is to be content. I have found SO much joy in my relationship with Christ these past few weeks, especially. I am praying that my plans are slowly lining up with God's, as I continue in this journey of college. But I am also praying that I will be content with what God has revealed to me thus far, and not push for more. It's when I start pushing that settling occurrs. Especially in the context of finding the one I am going to marry, settling is not an option. After all, contentedness requires patience and trust that someday God's plans will be revealed and it will be a "happy ever after."

Please pray for me as I continue in this journey of contentedness. That the motto's of Asbury, the couples, the media will not grab my attention, but rather I will be focused on what God has blessed me with thus far, and that I will be content to wait as the rest is slowly revealed.

On a side note: I interviewed to be fully accepted into the Asbury University Education Program, and I passed!! Praise the Lord! Such a lesson in learning to be content, with the mishap that happened last semester concerning the interview. I had to learn to be content where I was, and KNOW that God would reveal His plan in the right time- and that time was this past Thursday! All glory and praise goes to God because it was truly His words that came out of my mouth to show my passion and desire to teach children!

Not the Center

Sometimes I wonder where I belong or fit in... It seems that just about everywhere that I am, it can go on without me. Which obviously, it can because I am NOT the center of the world.

Hmm...
If I am not the center of the world then that means I am simply a part of it. It means that everything still keeps happening whether I choose to participate or not. It means that I am a little part of a bigger picture.

As I was pondering these thoughts this morning the verses in 1 Corinthians 12 came to mind...
"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body--whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free-- and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would your body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body."

Just simply reading those verses was kind of a smack in the face... Often times, I can be pretty self-centered, I will admit that. My thought process normally goes something along the lines of, "Well if they don't need me then they won't talk to me then they don't like me then they don't hang out with me then I am all alone."

WAKE UP CALL.

We are all different "parts," for lack of a better term. We are all so completely different. My friends and I all play a different role. Even the friends that I have that are super similar to me, we are still like an eye and and ear to each other. If we didn't have one another, the "body" would not be whole... But just because we have all of the part, and I am one of those parts, does not mean that I am needed at all times. Nor does it mean that when I am not needed, that I do not belong. I mean if you think about it... We have a liver, kidneys, large intestine, and bladder. (Yes, I do know we have NUMEROUS other body parts but these are what came to mind...) Now, do we use these ALL the time? Absolutely not. (Although I'm sure pregnant women would beg to differ on the latter!)

The same goes with the major body parts that are seen on a regular basis... Most everyone has two feet, two hands, two hands, two ears, a nose, and a mouth. Do we use these ALL the time? The answer, once again, is absolutely not. When I am reading a book, chances are I am not using my sense of smell, nor am I using my feet to turn the pages. Does this mean that they are useless? NO! If I didn't have my feet, then I would not be able to stroll along the beach on a beautiful day... I wouldn't be able to go get pedicures... If I didn't have my nose, I wouldn't be able to smell the delicious desserts that are baking in the oven.

All of the body parts have a different function. The same goes for every single person.
My dreams are:
To get married
Have children
Teach first grade
Live in a foreign country (Nicaragua!!!)

Just because those are MY dreams does NOT mean they are everyone else's dreams. Even the friends that I have that are the same major as me... We all differ because we have different dreams in regards to our Elementary Education major. We all have the same goal, which is to teach younger children. And it's the same with our body... The goal of our body is to keep it all unified and together. But we all have different functions, different jobs, different roles.

Just because I might want to do something, does not mean that everyone else wants to do something. Or just because I am not needed at the exact moment that I FEEL like I should be needed, doesn't meant that I'm not loved or cared for. It simply means that I'm on "rest mode." If we were needed at all times, in all manners of life, we would burn out right quick. That's why God gave us things such as margin--so that we do have that time where we are to ourselves.. NOT needed by anyone else.

God has made me a little part in this big realm of the world. He arranged me in a way that I am right where He desires me to be. Does that mean I am in a perfect place? Absolutely not. I have a LOT of growing and learning to do... But it does still mean that I am a part of His plan.

My line of reasoning is this...

I am on vacation right now... Am I furthering the work of God's kingdom by sitting on the beach, soaking up the sun, while reading romance novels? Probably not. Does it mean that I am not in God's plan because I am doing that? Absolutely not. I truly believe that God gives us moments like these to recognize the beauty that He has placed around us and to just sit back and relax. That's exactly what I plan on doing. Now when I go home, I am still a part of His plan, even in Bristol, Tennessee. It's now up to ME to further that plan there. No, it does not mean that I am the center. It means I am a part of showing Christ to everyone around me. (For those of you that know my big struggle right now, you will know what I am referring to...)

There has to be unity. If one person were the center of this earth, it would mean that everyone has to respond to them. THAT'S CHRIST. There is a center of this earth...

And it's NOT me.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

Ephesians 4:2-3

Truth Hurts... But Heals.

It's been quite a while since I last posted... Lots has happened--emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually.

There's just been battle after battle being fought. I don't know what it is about recently, but I am exhausted, on so many levels. It definitely seems as though Satan is trying to get the best of me, and unfortunately in some aspects he has, and I'm ashamed to admit that. It's hard, and yes I know that is no excuse in the least. Satan definitely just knows the right places to strike, the places that are my weakest. Though now that I recognize them as a weak spot, that means I have lots of work ahead of me.

Today I ran across this verse that spoke VOLUMES of truth to me:

"That's right. Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I'm not letting go. I'm telling you, 'Don't panic. I'm right here to help you.'"

[Isaiah 41:13-- The Message]

Now normally I don't read from the Message, but since I am Bible-less currently (me being the blonde that I am left my Bible in the family van and forgot to take it out before leaving back for Asbury) I have been reading various things online in all kinds of translations. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, as long as you are not taking the scripture out of context. To delve deep into the Word of God, I don't think the Message is an accurate translation or study tool, but it is definitely still a tool that speaks the words of God. 

I digress.

I read this verse and literally in my head said, "Wow." There really weren't many other words. The biggest struggles recently have been with friends and with my own self confidence... Maybe I come across as someone who has it all together, and has no need of other people along side of me (something of which I probably need to work on) but that couldn't be further from the truth. Just because I am not struggling with something that everyone else can see, doesn't mean that I'm not struggling. I still need those people to come along side of me and dig deeper, to find out the real things that are bothering me. But then I realized... I have someone who is WILLING and does that on a regular basis.. Christ. The only one who can really give me the peace and comfort that I am looking for. Recently I've taken things back in my own hands, and heaven knows why because it's ended disastrous, as it always does. Seriously though... Why would I do that when I KNOW that God has a "firm grip" on me and that He ISN'T letting me go. Despite everything that I do, He still remains. His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me. Why am I panic-ing over something that I have no control over? If I simply give it over to God then everything would seriously be alright.

That's too cliche sounding though. So what does it actually mean to let go and let God?

As I was scrolling through Facebook today I came across my pastor's blog that he had just recently updated.. Curious, I decided to open it and read it. Little did I know that it would be a big shining light that blinded me with truth. 

[Side note: I've gotten a lot of that recently... Truth, that is. Last weekend at home was not the most pleasant experience of my life. Lots of walking on egg shells with my family, and little did I know that my family was walking on egg shells with me as well. It finally came down to a semi-debating match in which it was me against my parents (note to anyone reading: YOU WILL NEVER WIN.) But my parents did speak a lot of truth... I won't lie- it hurt. REALLY bad. The thing that got me was when my dad said that the perfect guy might be right around the corner but I'll run him away with how I was acting towards and treating my family... Not that marriage is normally a good "deal breaker," but woah my dad knew that that is a thing which Asbury girls think a lot about, and that of course, I think about often... So it hit home. I don't think that means things with my family will be perfect, but I'm going to try harder to enhance those relationships. ANYWAYS... Done with that long *little* side note.]

But what Pastor Randy was talking about was how our actions should hold a magnifying glass over the new life Christ has given up by rising from the dead and the ultimate triumph over death. Then he proceeded to type a list of things that includes... And the few that hit me are:

1. Forgive someone who has offended you

5. Perform an act of kindness to someone in need

12. Change a habit that is enslaving you

I've found myself so concerned with what is going on with ME. It's all about ME. Rather than what is happening with everyone else... My dad challenged me to spend one day being COMPLETELY focused on someone other than myself... That's a lot harder said than done, but little by little, I am going to try to reach out to others, because the heavenly rewards will be so worth it. It might be taxing, hard, or even painful, but it's something that needs to happen. The world doesn't revolve around me. Or anyone besides Christ. And so often that is forgotten in the perfect life of an American... I'm hoping to implement this even more as I go to Nicaragua in May!

There has been an opportunity to go with Ron Brown and a group of about 20 people to Nicaragua in May! I am beyond excited about it! It's going to be an amazing ministry, and also a wonderful time in a country that I absolutely adore! Words cannot even express how excited I am to go!! Please keep the team and myself in your prayers when you think of it. God is going to work in some mighty ways, and I'm looking forward to them!

So today I am remembering that God is greater than anything... Than any struggle... Than any insecurity... Than any problems... Than EVERYTHING. And others come right after God in my life... A little acronym that I learned in Elementary School, though still applicable today is JOY. 

J-esus

O-thers

Y-ou

Something that I still need to follow today... 

As you go through this day, remember all of the promises that God gives us. Open the Bible and read His word.. That's the only way to get to know Him and all of His wonderfulness, and the truth that He wrote to be spoken into our lives.

Reality

Unfortunately Spring Break has come to an end... Which means numerous other things have as well, such as:

1. Sleeping in.

2. Sleep in general.

3. Freedom to be lazy all day long.

4. Being with my family.

5. Eating GOOD, edible food.

6. Seeing all of my friends in Bristol.

7. Not having continuous homework.

BUT it does mean that I come back to some wonderful things, such as:

1. My first grade kiddos at Brookside Elementary-- YAY!!!

2. My wonderful roommate, who even helped me carry my stuff up to my room from my car, and trust me.. it was kinda a lot ;)

3. My GORGEOUS friends- Elisabeth, Hunter, and Courtney :)

4. The little town of Wilmore.

5. Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church

6. Common Grounds

7. ORANGE LEAF AND FIESTA!!!!!! (Yes, I am quite excited about both of these food places, despite them being on complete opposite spectrums of food... They're delicious. Frozen yogurt and Mexican, can't get much better!)

Coming back also means having a butt-load of work to do. This week reality hits HARD.

This is my last week of practicum (insert an extremely sad Grace right here...) and it's going to be terribly hard to say goodbye to my little first graders, and my wonderful teacher! Thankfully, I have nothing Tuesday mornings, so I'll get to go in there every once in a while to help out! But with finishing practicum comes a lot of papers, most of which I got done over Spring Break (Thank the Lord!) but also finalizing anything that will need to be done.

Also, I have a HUGE interview this week. If you think of it, please be praying for me. It's my official interview to be accepted into the Asbury University Education Program! So kind of a big deal, since that's what I want to do for the rest of my life... The equivilant I could compare it to is passing Boards at Medical School that med students take throughout their time there... It's the beginning of one of the Gates that I will have to pass in order to get my teaching liscense! Praying that God will give me wisdom, and that I will be able to clearly speak and show them the passion that I have for teaching kids! On top of that, I have to complete a portfolio to be graded... Just a little bit of pressure! But at least it's for something that I absolutely love and am really excited about taking this next step :)

So as reality hits, so does the tired-ness of it all... You would never know I just slept an average of 10 hours/night for the past week at home with how tired I am! Guess I'm just getting old... I mean... Almost halfway to 20! What is this coming to?? ;)

But I do know that God is good and He is definitely going to be my source of strength this week, as I head back into reality. And I don't know what is ahead... Another reality check right there. I hope and pray I get accepted into the Education program, and that I can continue on in this wonderful journey!

 Remember to praise Him this week for helping you through the week, afterall none of us could do it without Him!

Ponder this:
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

Blessings

Blessings sometimes come in the rarest, but most wonderful ways. Other times they can come in the most obvious manner, but it takes a little bit to realize and recognize the blessing.

Blessings that  I can so clearly see in my life is through these BEAUTIFUL girls that you see in the picture above. I couldn't have asked for more wonderful friends that I've found at Asbury University. Each and every one of them have been with me through everything that has transpired this past year, and I couldn't thank God enough for them!!

Courtney:

This girls is so incredibly beautiful inside and out. She may appear to be quiet and reserved, but once you get to know her, she has the most encouraging words to say AT ALL TIMES, and with that comes a little bit of sass, but all out of love, is what I'm told :) I'm so incredibly thankful for her! I'm surprised she's stuck with being my friend with everything that I've complained, cried, or chattered about! She is definitely the definition of a true friend, and is such a blessing in my life! Little did I know that a blessing of a friendship could come out of a class such as New Testament with Neil Anderson... That in and of itself is a blessing ;) Love you Court!!

Elisabeth:

Oh this girl... I could go on and on about her! She has really been a blessing in disguise, in so many ways! It's so fun to have a friend that is just as passionate about teaching kids as I am :) We can go through this education program at Asbury together, and hopefully survive! She is such an encouragement. We've both been through some rough time,s but it's when we open up to each other and just pour out God's love, is when and where our friendship deepens to a whole new level. I could not have asked for a better friend! Through think and thin I know Elisabeth will always be there for me! You are such a blessing in my life, Lis! Despite everything that has happened, I can so clearly see God working in both of our lives, and someday that fairy tale ending will happen, because it's what we deserve! I love you so much!!

Hunter:

Where to even begin... You've been a blessing since the first minute that I met you.. On that fateful night where Dad got food poisoning after eating at Sonny's ;) Won't even let you live that one down! But in all seriousness... I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you, especially with everything that has transpired! Not once have you ever told me to be quiet, or to just suck it up...No, instead you've been there with a listening ear, always willing to give advice and then just give me a hug. You've seen me cry more than anyone else... Which I don't know if that's a good thing, but hey, guess  college changes a lot of things, even tear ducts! I love you LOTS and you are such a blessing in my life; from the texts that we have going back and forth on a daily basis, to our devotional talks on Tuesdays.... Well it's all amazing!

There are so many other blessings that I could talk about... For example:

Nicole-- who I just had the opportunity to spend a day with and go shopping in Pigeon Forge! It was a fantastically wonderful day, and such a blessing just to get some girl time with her :)

Lynnette and Shelby-- whom I got to see while I was up in Indiana! They are always SUCH a joy to be around. True best friends right there. I know I will always have them, no matter what happens. They are true blessings in my life!

Ellen-- Oh this girl... Always making me smile :) A true blessing from Bristol, TN! I didn't know I could have a friend like her after moving away, but alas, God has something fantastic in store!

Sarah-- My roommate is pretty much the best. Ever. That's about all I can say. Despite my crappy moods sometimes, and the lack of even being in the room, I know she still loves me, and she's ALWAYS an encouragement! She is DEFINITELY a blessing, probably more than I even realize it half the time!

And these are just a FEW of the blessings in my life... There are so many more! God has really been showing me the passions and blessings that He's placed in my life, and it's wonderful to see how God-inspired they are! Seriously, I've learned more and more that without Christ in my life I would be nothing. Abosolutely nothing.

One last little tid-bit of a blessing... Though it's more of a fun/crazy/silly blessing that a few people will get :) I have a feel that this 'letter' will [hopefully] become a huge blessing in many lives. And that is......

 

If you'd like to know about it... feel free to ask. Otherwise, feel free to have numerous thoughts/ponderings/wonderments about why that could possibly be a blessing :) (Because I know ALL of you that are reading this will think about this for hours and days on end..... Not :) There are plenty of reasons for it! Just something fun that I've recently thought of......

So all those to say... God's really given me a lot of blessings, whether they've been in disguise or not, they surely bless my life on a regular basis!

Go listen to this song... It's all about Blessings :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

"What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're real? What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?"

Passions

There's been a lot of thinking going on recently...

Ha. That could be bad, is what a majority of what you are saying as you continue reading this blog! But I really think that it's been good. At least... as of this instance, it's been good!

A lot of this has stemmed out of the time off of Facebook. 

Yes, there are days where I miss it and I feel like I am completely out of the loop. 

But overall, it's been really good. I've invested in friendships that have grown out of just virtually being friends on Facebook... And I've also spent a lot of time in the Word of God. Finally. I've found that I can go there and get all the satisfaction and joy that I should want!

One thing that I've really been learning/reading about is "passions."

According to Websters Dictionary the word passion is defined as this:

"A strong, barely controllable emotion," or "an intense desire or enthusiasm for something."

These could not be more true in relation to my own passions! 

If you're reading this, chances are you've had a chance to talk to me in person... And if there's been one thing that has come up in conversation it's been children or Nicaragua. I can almost guarntee it. As I'm seeing, THOSE things are such a passion on my heart! A God-given passion. I think I'm past the stage of life where those things are just something that I desire because I enjoy them... No, I really think God has placed these burdens and passions on my heart because they are in His plan for me as I head down this road in life! Not everyone know what they are going to be doing at the age of 19, and quite honestly, neither do I. Although I have a sense of where I am headed... 

Teaching is part of me. Whether people accept that or not, it is and always will be something that I am passionate about. No, it's not the best paying job in the world in money on America's standards... But just seeing those kids precious faces on a day to day basis... and when they FINALLY understand the concept... Those are the rewards that are well worth it. I can't even describe my joy of being in the classroom these past couple of weeks. My teacher that I'm working with must have all the faith in the world in me, because she has even left me alone with my first graders! But everytime she leaves, it's almost as if the Holy Spirit is there saying, "Alright, Miss Ries, you got this because this is something I've equipped you to do!" :) If only you could be sitting next to me as I'm writing this... My face is probably beaming, as I can't keep the smile off of my face. So it's been so incredibly neat just to see that confirmation from God that what I am majoring in is right where He has me going!

Secondly, Nicaragua... Oh my. If only I could begin to express the desire and love and passion I have for that country. It faded the first time that I went, which could only be expected out of a 13 year old who lost 10lbs and had 27 cankersores in her mouth when she came home... But since I left last March, I literally do not think there has been a day gone by where I haven't thought about those precious children (Sterling and Nicole are two that are on my heart and mind constantly) and the wonderful GHO team, and just the beautiful country of Nicaragua. Now that I see the passion that I have for this country, I'm not sure where this will fit into the plan that God has for my life. Obviously, not everything has to be worked out at the moment... After all, I'm still just a freshman in college, still trying to figure out where everything is in the cafeteria, much less where I'm supposed to be in 3 years down the road. But I definitely see that passion taking me somewhere for missions.... I don't know if that means I'm called to full time missions (although, don't mistake that... Everywhere that I am is a missions field, I completely recognize that! I meant actually going out on the field, rather than staying stateside on this side of missions...) or if that means I'll take once or twice a year trips with my dad to work overseas... I don't know! I suppose so much of that will depend on if I have a husband, and what his job situation is!

That leads to the last thing... And of course, you may wonder how "husband" will fit into the category of passion. Well, there are a couple of ways. To begin, I've really begun to be passionate about becoming the kind of woman that my husband will need me to be. Still, at this point, I don't know who I am going to marry. Honestly, there isn't even a guy in the picture. BUT... I do know that God is shaping me into becoming the person that he will need to continue on this journey that we call life. I also have become passionate about what I am looking for in a husband. I'm not going to "casually date..." That just leads to too much pain and heartbreak. It's so much easier to just simply be friends with guys, which is all that I am hoping to do at this point in time. The next person that I "date" will, Lord-willing, be the man that I will marry. But I will emphasize the word MAN. That's what I'm looking for. We all go through a point in life where we are teetering on the border of becoming men and women, especially men and women of Christ, but even in the real world... and once we reach that line it's a decision to cross it, and it's then that we become in a position where we are so reliant on Christ that the person of the opposite gender will walk into our lives and sweep us off our feet in a way that still keeps Christ at the center of everything. The best thing that a man could ever say to me is the fact that he loves me second. To God. I want a man that will be the spiritual leader, and love God more than anything, and I could just come as an added bonus for waiting for the right woman to come along. And the same thing goes for myself completely... I want to be the kind of woman that is willing to submit to God and then the man will be an added bonus for waiting and keeping myself pure and completely surrendered to Christ for all those years before I finally find "the one." 

All of these things involve surrendering though... The one thing that keeps coming to mind is the lyric from Chris Tomlin's song, "White Flag," that says:

"We surrender all to you. ALL FOR YOU!"

That's what I'm doing in all of these areas. All of them are given over to Christ. They are all in His hands, and I am just clay waiting to be molded and formed into the woman that He desires and has a passion for me to become so that I might further His kingdom in all of these areas!

Look Alike...

When you're walking own the street, who do people say you look like?

For me... I've been told I look like Susan from Narnia.

Or... Katherine McPhee off of the show, Smash.

Or... Anne Hathaway from Princess Diaries.

All of those I definitely take as compliment, because all three of those ladies are absolutely stunning, and I can only hope I take after them in some kind of resemblance...

But is that how I REALLY want to look like?

This past weekend I had the opportunity to be a leader at D-Now at Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church. This was pretty much a weekend-long retreat for middle and high school students, in which we studied the Word of God and had chances to worship Him in big groups, as well as small groups.

One of the lessons that I taught, though, really struck home with me. The analogy started out asking the girls how they would recognize a cowboy walking down the street (And that analogy came from the book, not from my own head!) And they answered with the obvious, the boots, hat, belt, and plaid shirt. Then I moved that into, who do people see when they look at you? Do they see Christ?

As soon as I asked that question, I took a deep breath. I had passed into some dangerous territory, not only for the girls, but for myself as well.

When people see me walking around Asbury's campus to they see Christ?

Whether it be through my words... actions... interactions... friendships...

Who are they seeing?

One of the girls then proceeded to ask me how does it look? How does it look to see Christ in us just walking down the hallways of our schools?

Crud.

Hard question to answer when my own question convicted me. 

Although, it truly was the Holy Spirit, that gave me the ability to answer as I did. 

I answered it simply by saying it was by how we carried ourselves, and how we interacted with everyone else. It doesn't mean that we have to be shoving the Bible down peoples throat on a regular basis, quite the opposite in fact. By simply living it, people should see a difference in us that should cause them to question why we are so different. And by those questions that we should receive, it should be them seeing Christ in us.

Now, it is not always as simple as that... Nor is it as easy as that at a Christian school/university. But that should motivate me to be above reproach even more than the "average Christian" that is walking around campus on a daily basis.

So my question to myself is...

Who do I look like? 

Who do I reflect?

Christ? The world? My Friends? Celebrities?

I hope and pray that those of you that are reading this can say that you see Christ in me.

Beautiful

"You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring you down."

"I am beautiful in every single way. Words can't bring me down... So don't you bring me down today."

 [My first day in the classroom: Practicum of freshman year!]

One of the first things that was said to me by a couple of the girls in my new first grade class was, "Wow, Miss Ries, you are beautiful." or "You are so pretty!"

Those words made such a difference in my day. 

Who would have thought that a compliment by three little first grade girls could have changed my day? Normally it means a lot coming from someone of the opposite gender and approximately the same age as yourself... But in all reality, it means just the same thing and it's the same exact truth coming from little girls of the age of 7. 

Insecurities come mostly from lack of encouragement. 

And I think that's the biggest area that I've struggled with since being at Asbury. 

I find myself comparing myself to all of my friends, thinking most of the time that I have crazy beautiful friends, so it's no wonder that I don't have a guy that likes me because all of my friends are just that much more gorgeous.

But I've found that in the classroom I can completely be myself, plain and simple, and beautiful to little first graders. I'm completely content with that!

And I also know that God made me beautiful and good. 

Therefore I don't always need to be told, because it is explicitly said in His Word that I am beautiful in His sight, and through Him, so what more could I want or need?

To continue talking about the first day of class though...

It seriously was one of the most amazing days of the year. I am working with Mrs. Dix at Brookside Elementary School. She is one of the sweetest teachers that I have ever met! I think I will really enjoy working with her... Another neat God story regarding the placement of my practicum: I am the only student in my class that got my ideal class age. How cool is that? And it's just another way I see God working in my life and confirming the fact that I am supposed to be going into Elementary Education! There are also other doors opening for missions work during the summer, which is exactly what I feel like God has placed on my heart. It's so neat following after God's perfect plan for my life!

I digress...

There were so many fun teaching techniques that I observed, just from being in Mrs. Dix's classroom for one day. And I'm really excited to continue learning, observing, and possibly even teaching a little bit in her classroom! The children are precious. As I've already observed, there are going to be a few students that will test my patience  and teach me different ways that I can deal with less-than-perfect students, but that is all part of teaching! 

Let me just say... I cannot wait to have a classroom of my own! I cannot wait to decorate my room... Implement the skills that I will have learned... Change kids lives... Make them into beautiful little children who have such a love to learn, just like Miss Braham did to me.

Never underestimate the impact you can have on kids, as well as kids can have on you.

Three specific little girls completely made my day on Wednesday.

And it just confirmed the truth that God's word tells me...

I am beautiful.

And I'm telling every single one of you that is reading it:

You are beautiful; never forget that!

Facebook-less

Today has been Day 1, and I can honestly say it's been one of the most difficult days... More than likely because Facebook was literally at my fingertips for a good 50% of the day. Yet, I didn't.

And I couldn't be more proud of myself for that.

[Excusing the fact that a friend of mine changed my password, so I couldn't have gotten on it even if I want to!]

Why did I give up Facebook? 

The one thing that I did keep from my life in Indiana.

I needed to.

That's it.

Plain and simple.

Too often I found that it was taking up precious and valuable time that I could have been working on school work, planning lessons for my kids, initiating conversations with people, enhancing relationships with REAL people, not simply virtually.

Instead, my challenge to myself is as follows:

Every time I have that desire to go on Facebook to see what's going on in the world [because obviously I can't find that out any other way...] I am going to go get my Bible and read Psalms. The book of praises. Words inspired by God, written by man so that I can read them. How much better news can I get than that? I'm pretty sure what I can gleam from Psalms is significantly more than anything that I could gleam from Facebook. At this point, I'll be getting through Psalms multiple times before these 40 days are over, but you know what, what better way to spend my time than meditating on God's word. After all, His word is infallible. It cannot be wrong. It can be convicting, but in a good way. It cannot harm. It's perfect.

If you're reading this, I challenge you to do the same thing! Maybe not give up Facebook, but think about something that you spend a lot of time doing... Maybe it's Twitter... Pinterest... Texting... Myspace (is that even still around?)... Gaming systems (PS2 [that probably dates me A LOT!], Wii, Xbox, I don't know what else is out there!]... Fictional books... You name it. Anything that could possibly be taking away from valuable time that you could be spending in the Word of God. After all, if God took the time to inspire all of those words for us, the LEAST we can do is to read them. Then we should take it even a step farther and apply them to our lives, and have it reflect in our day to day actions and words.

That is my challenge to myself as well as you. If you're reading this, I encourage you to keep me accountable! I want to be the kind of person that it is evident that I am following and seeking after Christ, especially now that I have given up Facebook, and hopefully it will continue nurturing as I progress in this wonderful relationship with God!

God is in Control

Life has it's ups and downs.

Normally when we think of them, they're mostly trivial, right?

And most everything that I'm experiencing right now I will look back and see how trivial they are.

But for now, they're life changing.

They're shaping me.

They're molding me.

They're changing me.

And it can't be more true... Never would I have imagined that I would be where I am today, last year. This is in a good and bad way. I have grown more in my relationship with Christ than I ever thought was possible, and that's incredibly encouraging. My relationship with Jesus means so much to me. Seriously, without Him I do not think I would have gotten through everything that has transpired. As I have struggled and wrestled with different things, I have realized that God is the one constant in my life; nothing that I do can waver anything that He feels or says or does or loves to/about me. 

There's been a lot of difficulties recently. Some of which most people do not even know are transpiring. [Problem #1, as I've held stuff in, but sometimes I just can't help it!] But it just seemed like every little thing kept adding up, to the point where I was sure I was going to blow. 

What did I do? 

I went home.

I needed to get away. I needed to remove myself from any and all situations. I needed to take a step back. I needed to leave.

I needed to go to that little city that has become such a part of my family called Bristol, because whether I really like it or not [which I have grown to like it because of the people!], it's home. I'll be content wherever God has my family.

 

And I honestly think that was the best thing that I could have done. I've been able to think about it without talking to anyone else, or having anyone elses thoughts/opinions effect my own. I've been able to pray about it and give it over to God. I've been able to move on.

Everything seemed to be falling apart. Literally.

Friendships.

Relationships.

Emotionally.

Physically.

Spiritually.

I couldn't have felt more dead and drained.

So much of that changed by a single facebook message.

Never under estimate the power of a message letting a person know that you REALLY, genuinely, truly care about them. It seriously has made all the difference in the world to me.

My track record with guys have not been the greatest. Yes, in those current times, I thought I had good judgment, and I'm not saying that I did anything wrong in getting to know these guys, but it's how I've went about it that was difficult. In the past if I was friends with a guy, I normally wanted to know if they "like me," in the way that all the middle school girls annoyingly ask and whine about. Pathetic, I know. But that all change…

Through a facebook message that I received because I SAW] for the very first time a guy who is genuinely interested in my life for ME.  [Such a big part in maturing in the aspect of relationships, I feel like… because it wasn’t necessarily the first time some guy has cared for me in this way, but it’s the first time I REALIZED it] Not for anything else. But because he cares about me; not in a romantic way, but in a friendship-brotherly way. There was nothing he asked that didn't show that he really wanted to know how I was. Every little thing that he said was completely genuine.

For probably the first time ever, I felt genuinely special because of something that a guy has said to me. [Not to discount sweet things that I have heard at all, but this just... struck a completely different chord than anything else I’ve ever heard, if that makes sense... If you’re a guy and you’re reading this, it probably doesn’t, so I’d suggest moving on pretty quickly and not over analyzing it!]

This simple message changed everything. Changed how I am viewing a specific relationship right now. Changed how I approach friendships. Changed my response to different things that have gone on around me.

Not to say that I won't have difficult times after this, because I am almost positive I will, but I think my attitude will be a little bit different from here on out.

I don't really even know if any of this makes sense, or if it simply just me rambling on and on. 

I'm really thankful for all of these hardships I've experience this semester alone... If anything, they have strengthened my relationship with Christ more than the "offending person" could even know. I have relied on Christ more than anything because I know He is my perfect love. 

I'm working through my personal doubts and fears that have appeared because of certain situations...

I'm working on becoming less dependent on what other people thing.

I'm working on my insecurities.

I'm working on realizing that I don't have to be perfect. It's alright to make mistakes.

But through it all I know there are people who are coaching me, encouraging me, and walking along side of me through the whole way because they GENUINELY care about me.

There are always lessons to be learned, and prices to be paid, but ultimately I had a God who died for me and paid the ultimate price out of love. No greater act of love could ever be shown.

 Because after all... These troubles and hardships... Well, they're just temporary and...

God is in control.